Specky Pilot

Pink's

2008-09-22T16:11:00.006+08:00

No, this is not about the female singer Pink, it’s about the hotdog stall in West Hollywood in Los Angeles.

Got there after a long second day of shopping at factory outlets. (Again! Yep, can’t get enough of shopping.) See post on The Boiling Crab for the first day outing.

My friends told me it’s famous. Many Hollywood stars frequented the store. There is always long queue outside the store. It is located along a major trunk road and the queue attracts attention and hence provides free advertisement for the stall.

We arrived there around 1am. It was a little breezy and chilly around 15 degree Celsius. We joined behind a long queue that bent around a corner of the store and stretched towards the store’s parking lots behind the store. Most of the people in the queue came after clubbing. You could see it from their ‘heightened’ state of behaviour. Not necessary a bad thing. At least their noise broke the boredom of having stuck in a queue.

There were eager tourists like us in the queue taking pictures with the store as the backdrop too.

We read the brochure menu under the neon light of the store’s overhead signboard in the queue. As most of us were new to the place, we were spoilt for choice on what to order. So we decided to go for variety for everyone to share. 45 minutes past and it was for us to order. Chili Dog, Polish Dog, Nacho Cheese Chili Dog, Mullholland Drive Dog were among the few we ordered. Oh yes, I ordered a drink called Yoo-Hoo which tasted pretty much like chocolate milk.

Soon we realized why the queue moved so slowly. Each waiter served us from the start till the end, i.e. from taking order, preparing our order and handing over our food. Our dogs were cooked right in front of our eyes with smoke and smell filling our eyes and shirt.

The kitchen was a little squeeze with about 8 to 10 servers shuttling back and forth preparing customers’ order.

There was a small indoor dining area with pictures of celebrities hanging all over the walls. More tables and chairs were available behind the store next to the car park.

Most of the dogs came with minced meat source which was not unlike Malay Rendang source. Some dogs were spicier and juicier than the other. After a few bites, they all tasted the same. But it did fill our stomachs. The spiciness mixed well with the cool outside air temperature. I would go back again. But the queue might stop me though.

http://www.pinkshollywood.com/index.htm

The Boiling Crab

2008-09-06T16:30:00.009+08:00

Rented a car while I was doing a layover in Los Angeles a few weeks back. After driving around and frequented shopping malls at Ontario Mills (http://www.simon.com/mall/default.aspx?ID=1258) and Desert Hills (http://www.premiumoutlets.com/outlets/outlet.asp?id=6), it was time to eat.

Went to a seafood restaurant named The Boiling Crab at Euclid Street in Garden Groove near LA. (http://www.theboilingcrab.com/)

First of all, the restaurant is not big. It was crowded when we arrived. We were told the waiting time about half an hour. So we took our queue number and went to a Vietnamese Café a few doors away. A unique characteristic of this Vietnamese Café is the presence of scantily clad Vietnamese waitresses around. Although there are a lot of LCD TV screens on the four walls, the eye candies are no doubt you-know-who. And one more interesting thing, no alcohol is served. Maybe they don’t have the license to do so. What goes around that looks like jugs of beer is actually Chinese tea.

First impression inside The Boiling Crab restaurant is that of a fishing village. There are fishing nets hanging on the walls and ceiling. Framed pictures of fishermen showing off their catch, fishing rods and boat anchor are part of the interior décor.

We ordered the signature Crawfish with Rajun Cajun (original) seasoning, Dungeoness Crab with Garlic Butter seasoning, King Crab legs with The whole Sha-Bang and Fried Catfish with Cajun Fries.

All our orders came in plastic bags. We were given plastic apron to wear. Tables were lined with oil absorbent papers for easy wrapping and getting rid of the shells.

The signature crawfish is not my favourite. The Cajun source was too hot. The crawfish was too small to warrant the peeling effort. The flesh did not absorb the source. It was a little bland.

Our favorite was the King Crab Legs. It was fresh and easy to handle. The Catfish came second. Nicely fried, warm and smooth on the tougue.

After eating a few dishes, all the sources tasted the same. Perhaps it was the chilly.

Try it if you have not been there.

It's the Spirit!

2008-08-19T13:17:00.005+08:00

Human lives have four aspects: Mental, Physical, Emotional and Spiritual.

A well-rounded individual will seek to develop all four aspects of his/her live. Any aspect that is lacking will soon affect the other aspects and resulting in imbalance and unhappiness.

As I was watching the Olympic athletes dishing out their best in their respective competing fields in Beijing, I could not help but to take my hats off to them. To be able to be their countries’ flag bearers and compete in the international arena, they have put in countless years of practice and hardwork, not mentioning the obstacles and setbacks encountered along the way.

To be able to compete under pressure, the athletes need to be in their top-notch condition in all four aspects of their lives. Although the easiest to be seen is the physical aspect of the athletes – in fact, their performance is measured solely based on that – the other three aspects of lives play equally if not more significant roles in shaping their results.

China's national hero Liu Xiang was mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepared to take on the 110m hurdles event, but he failed in his physical aspect in that he suffered cramp at the beginning of the race. And so, his fellow Chinese supporters’ emotions and spirits were subsequently dented too.

During the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics, as the athletes from around the world march into their respective rows, the TV commentator made a somewhat cruel but true statement: 90 per cent of the athletes there are going to go home without any medals, they might as well savor the glorious moments now.

If only three out of the ten contestants are going to get the top three medals, why are the rest of the athletes bother to take part? Yes, it’s the human spirit at play. Just like 95 per cent of the business start-ups fail within the first five years, why do people still trying? They don’t call it Entrepreneur Spirit for no reason.

Balance

2008-07-28T19:11:00.001+08:00

Making things happen	Letting things happen
Doing	Being
Using my mind	Listening to my heart
Reason	Passion
Earth	Heaven

Hi, my name is Kedah!

2008-06-21T18:41:00.005+08:00

I fly to New York Newark Airport every month. And I do not know what are the reasons that I am chosen, I will have to go through the secondary screening immigration procedure every time I step foot on the United States' soil without fail.

This secondary screening immigration procedure is called the National Security Entry-Exit Registration System, or NSEERS in short.

The following paragraph is taken off from the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement website (http://www.ice.gov/):
“Those who fall under the second category – nonimmigrants – must also adhere to the National Security Entry-Exit Registration System (NSEERS) also known as Special Registration, put in place after September 11, 2002, to keep track of those entering and leaving our country in order to safeguard U.S. citizens and America’s borders. NSEERS was the first step taken by the Department of Justice and then by the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) in order to comply with the development of the Congressionally- mandated requirement for a comprehensive entry-exit program.”

Most of my colleagues, and I believe most of you reading this right now, do not have to go through this lengthy procedure. What you normally have to go through is like what is being practiced in many other countries: get your passport and customs form checked and chopped, finger print and picture taken and you are cleared to proceed to take your check-in luggage and clear customs.

What happened to me is that I will be identified as ‘the one’ who has to go through NSEERS when I submit my passport at the immigration counter and an immigration officer will take my passport and lead me to a smaller room located behind this row of immigration counters for further processing.

If you are a firstimer, you will probably feel nervous and impatient about the whole thing, especially after a long and tiring flight. And if you are not the first one there, or you arrive during peak hours, the room is filled with many other passengers, (or aliens, as what being referred to in the immigration form), like you. The look in their eyes focusing on you as you are walking into the room to join them will make you feel uneasy.

So on this particular day, like many other times I arrived in Newark Airport immigration, I was lead into the room for NSEERS. In my full company uniform and dragging my hand carry bag, I took a seat and made myself 'comfortable' as instructed by the officer. With my tiring eyes, I looked across the room to see who is in the same predicament as me at this time. It’s a United Nation. Their outer appearances told me that they are from Europe (most likely Eastern Europe), Russia, Korea, Indonesia, India, South America (Spanish-speaking countries) and Middle Eastern countries. Whether you are on a wheelchair or still sleeping in your cot, you are not spared. It’s a security issue here.

An Indian male passenger’s eye met mine and I smiled, he smiled back. If we could communicate via telepathy, it would probably be like this:

‘Hey, pilots also have to through this huh?’

‘Yes.’

‘What have we done to deserve all this? How long is it going to take? Am I in trouble? Will I get repatriated? How about my luggage? How about my connecting flight?’

‘Oh relax! It’s not that bad. I go through this umpteen times already. What they will do to you is, they will take off your pants, stuff their middle finger into your ass to check whether you are still virgin.’

His faced turn even more paled.

‘Ok, ok. I am just kidding. What they will do is to get some more personal data from you. They need to know where exactly you come from, your education background, your family details and your intention of coming to this ‘Land of Opportunities’. All that data will be keyed into the computer and they will pulled up the same set of data again every time you enter this country to make sure that it is you in person and not someone else. In other words, you are under closer scrutiny when you are in this country.’

‘Then why can’t they do this outside at their normal immigration counters?’

‘Because not all immigration officers are trained or authorized to conduct this procedure. And also, this is a lengthy procedure that takes time. They don’t want you to hold everyone up. And the waiting is also a way to test your patience and check your personality profile. That’s my conspiracy theory.’

‘It must be tiring for flight crew like you. You have been working for the last how many hours?’

‘Yes. My patience is running thin. Especially when you see how slow they are in their work and still find time to chat among each other. But they are kind enough to give flight crew priority. So I may get processed first before you. Please be patient.’

I winked.

An immigration officer lifted up my passport and looked at me. He shouted, ‘Kedah! Kedah!’

‘Ok, my friend, it’s my turn. Obviously he is calling me, but he is calling my home state. Should I call him California?’

I walked to this officer with a grin, wondering how he is going to react after realizing his mistake.

He looked at my passport again. Then he realized he was reading off the wrong line. And he said, ‘Oh, it’s Tan. Isn’t it? I am lucky the second time, yeah?’

I smiled back, thinking to myself. ‘Yes, you are lucky that I am in a good mood today. Don’t you owe me an apology, you idiot?’

Like many Asians who try to be nice and then lodge a complain behind your back, I said thank you when I finally got my passport back.

'Good luck! My friend from India. My crew is waiting for me outside to get to the hotel. Don’t be mad at these officials here. They are just doing their job. Cheerio!'

If you are traveling to the US, and need more information on their immigration procedure, type NSEERS under SPECKY POWER SEARCH on this blog. Good luck!

Cabin Crew Stories

2008-05-28T12:28:00.003+08:00

The article titled ‘Planes, Slaps and Sex’ published on Asiaone digital news (http://digital.asiaone.com/Digital/Features/Story/A1Story20080527-67217.html) has garnered attention of the public on the ‘glamorous, scandalous and the ugly of life’ as a flight crew. Among others, the article mentioned how easy it is for flight crew to get involved in affairs and sleep with each other.

Like most of the curious readers, my wife and I were amused by the stories written by ‘ex-stewardess/steward’ bloggers like Beh and Boh Tong. So much so that my wife asked me whether those stories are true.

Yes, those stories might be true dear. But that doesn’t mean every flight crew is doing it. These crews represent only a small percentage of the whole profession, just like in any other industry. If one has the desire to have an affair, it can happen anywhere. It does not need to be in an overseas hotel room or in that particular uniform.

As human beings, we are often tempted to taste the forbidden fruit. But as responsible human beings, we ought to think of the consequences of our actions. Affairs are usually results of broken relationships at home. Instead of focusing on the fear of whether our spouse is going to sleep with other people, we should really focus on how we can strengthen our relationships in our marriage. We should constantly find ways to keep that ‘old flame’ going.

To me, rumors, affairs and scandals often make good stories. It is not surprising how much details bloggers are willing to reveal to capture readers’ attention these days. Although these stories make interesting read, I won’t spend too much time reading them, as there is not much substance that I can take home with that might contribute to my total wellbeing.

Pursuit of Happiness

2008-04-22T20:33:00.006+08:00

I was watching ‘Your Baby Can Read’ video CD with my son and one of the segments featured a poem that goes something like this:

Babies like to learn new things
Because of the joy that learning brings

My son Caden has been growing steadily for the past few months. Not a single day passes by when he does not learn how to say a new word or communicate through the look of his eyes and his action, a greater understanding of how things are. And the realization that he has learnt new things brings us much joy.

How I wish I had watched that VCD when I was young. In retrospect, I did not realize that learning is the key to happiness until a few years ago. Prior to that, I went through schooling up till university level with the thought that the knowledge gain was to help me in securing a job in the society, not so much of the joy it could bring.

Not until I read the books ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ by Robin Sharma and ‘Awaken The Giants Within’ by Anthony Robbins that I start to realize learning is truly the key to happiness. In ‘Awaken The Giant Within’, Anthony explains how our brain and neuron system works at our subconscious level. Every time we learn something through seeing, listening, smelling, tasting and touching, formation of linkage or linkages between or amongst neurons occurs. This process brings about some electro-chemical activities that make us feel happy. So in order to feel happy, we should always bring about these neuro-chemical activities. That is why Anthony advocates his trademark term CANI! – Constant And Never-ending Improvement, similar to the Japanese concept of Kaizen mentioned in “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’.

The Chinese has a similar conventional wisdom that translates literally to ‘Live till Death, Learn till Death’ (活到老，学到老). It highlights the importance of keep on learning and upgrading oneself not just to remain relevant to the society, but also to achieve greater joy of living.

When we help someone learns, the joy becomes double, because joyful emotions are infectious. When we help someone learns, our neoro-linkages get reinforced, hence also brings about the neuro-chemical activities that will make us happy.

I get so excited when Caden managed to show me where his ears and eyes are when I ask him about them. Every time he stands up automatically and dances to the tune of the action song:

Heads and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes,

Eyes and ears and mouth and nose

Heads and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.

I could not help it but to also sing and action together with him. Although the song is still a little too fast for him to follow, but he will still stand up and goes for his toes straight away.

As adults, have we stopped learning? When was the last time we read a self-help book, attend a seminar, or attend a discussion group? When was the last time we opened our mind and be willing to admit that we did not know something and it is time for us to go and find out? Are we unhappy because we think that we have already known all, and life has become stagnant and dull? It is time to bring about that neuro-chemical activity.

Letting Go

2008-03-22T13:19:00.003+08:00

Caden had a balloon dog. He walked the dog frequently for a few days. But every morning when he woke up and took a look at the dog, it got skinnier and skinnier. And finally one day, it got so sick that it could not walked anymore.

He took the balloon dog and walked to me with his curious eyes: Why wouldn’t doggy walk anymore?

As a first-time father, I was thinking hard on how to explain the fleeting nature of things to my one-and-a-half-year-old son. That the only constant in life is change, that all beings are impermanent and changing forms frequently.

I have been turning into a metrosexual lately. Thanks partly to my wife who is operating a spa specializing in massages and facials. www.scentdiscovery.com. I have been influenced by her on the importance of living healthily and looking good to boost one’s self-confidence. I have been putting on moisturizer and anti-aging cream on my face and skin, especially more so when I see wrinkles at the corner of my eyes in the mirror.

I flipped through the papers and I saw so many advertisements on beauty and slimming treatment. People are told to cling on to their bodies, to take measures to resist aging. But don’t we know that our bodies are aging and dying every minute? Although our cells are constantly being regenerated and replenished that we have a ‘whole new’ body every ten days, the regeneration process is going to slow down eventually and we are going to age and finally die.

So why are we still fervently trying something that is futile? That no matter how hard we try, we are still going to get old and die anyway?

Why do we have to work so hard everyday to make money to buy bigger house and cars and at the end of the day, we can’t take those things with us when we leave this world? Why do we have to get agitated when someone cuts into our lane while we are driving, when we won’t even remember each other moments after we drive in different directions?

Why do I have to try so hard to succeed when probably no one would remember me a hundred years from now?

Because not trying is suicidal. Not clinging on at all is not living. Not pursuing something right from the beginning knowing that that something is not going to last is not living life to the fullest.

Yes, I want to be healthy. I want to look good and confident, even though my body is going to age and die eventually. I cannot relent on my efforts to strive hard in everything I do. Doing otherwise is denying myself a chance to live at the highest level.

But when it is time to let go, let go. The key word is when. I believe we do not have to worry about when. We will know it one way or the other. Just like when Caden discovered his balloon dog could not walk anymore.

Is it Luck or Effort?

2008-02-16T14:49:00.005+08:00

Pen Cai - a pot of delicacies comprising abalone, scallops, prawns, mushrooms, pork trotter, etc.. A symbol of wealth and presperity in Chinese culture.

Chinese New Year celebration is the time when we meet up with relatives and friends, some of whom we have not met for a long time. Apart from exchanging mandarin oranges, giving red packets to children and munching New Year cookies, we catch up on each other’s progress in life.

Some have not changed a single bit. Some remain status quo. Some might not have done so well, but due to festive moods, nobody can tell from their outer appearance. According to Chinese customs, we only want to say and hear ‘the good things’ during the celebration anyway.

I had a chance to visit a very big bungalow house belongs to a distant relative when I was in Melaka for Chinese New Year celebration two weeks ago. He bought the piece of land that the house sits on during the financial crisis around 1997 and only started and finished constructing his bungalow recently. The double-storey bungalow has six bedrooms. Each of his children has a specially designed bedroom of their own completed with pinkish colour theme for his daughters and non-pinkish theme for his sons.

The bungalow comes with a garden punctuated with a hut for alfresco dining, a Japanese carp pond, a huge living room with the latest home entertainment system, a big study room, dry and wet kitchen, all come with the best flooring materials available in the market. What impressed me most are the thoughts that have gone into each design. The location of each room and the facing of the house are built based on Feng Shui theory. The material and color of the flooring and the spiral staircase are chosen based on aesthetics and weather endurance. Up high hanging from the ceiling in front of the spiral staircase is a stunning chandelier equipped with motorized chain to facilitate the lowering of the chandelier for ease of maintenance.

Chinese often wish each other good luck, prosperity and wealth during the Chinese New Year celebration. My distant relative is definitely one of those who have acquired lots of wealth and prosperity in the past years. I could sense it through his explanation as he walked me around his bungalow.

And he is not the only one. A lot of my friends have gotten promotion, moved to bigger houses and driven larger cars. As a result of good food and good life, some have gotten rounder around their waist and lower chin too. As we seldom see each other on a daily basis, it is not appropriate for us to ask during the gathering on how such wealth is accumulated or how they become successful. This only leads to speculation behind their back. One prominent factor that often pops up is ‘they got lucky’. ‘He got lucky working for a nice boss.’ ‘He got lucky marrying a daughter of a wealthy shipping tycoon.’ ‘He got lucky that he bought that property during the economy downturn.’

It makes me wonder how big is a role luck plays in determining our success? If we did not put in efforts in upgrading our skills, increasing our market value or sharpening our sensitivity for economic cycles, could we still succeed when good luck fell upon us? If the reasons for success can be broken down in terms of percentage, how many percent should it be attributed to good luck?

A person who strikes lottery and wins a million dollars is often said to be lucky. But if this person did not put in effort in buying a lottery ticket, would he still succeed in winning the prize?

I believe 85% of our success comes from our efforts, 10% talent, something that comes with us when we are born, and only 5% luck.

Perhaps the next time I meet a successful person, I should get to know him/her better and emulate the efforts that have been put in in achieving success. This is much more empowering than just brushing off a person’s efforts and say that this person got lucky.

However, when we are asked how we got successful, we must always say that we got lucky. This is to show that we are humble, although huge chunk of our success is due to our own efforts. Just like when my sis-in-law said that we got lucky in being able to choose a capable domestic helper in taking care of our son, I could only agree with her, although my wife and I did put in some efforts in choosing which maid agency can best do its job and also in training the helper to help us in the way we want it to be.

Road to Taj Mahal II - Horn Please

2008-01-24T18:25:00.001+08:00

Every country has its unique culture and interesting phenomena. I thought a drive through Serangoon Road in Singapore’s ‘Little India’ during the weekend was sufficient to give me a taste of the traffic situations in India, till I arrived at Delhi.Delhi International Airport’s terminal was undergoing upgrading works. It was dusty and cramp. Loose wires and air-con structures were clearly visible overhead. Ceiling over the luggage collection belt area was so low that I could touch it with the top of my head by tip-toeing. The wait for our luggage definitely took longer than that in Changi Airport. That was when I realized I had arrived at a third world country.

The road leaving the airport was undergoing upgrading works too. I was overwhelmed by a sense of deja-vu as I barely remembered I had been there during one of my working trips about three years ago. The roads were under upgrading works then. They still are.

Then came the irritating sounds of vehicle horn, all too frequent that they were hardly effective. Road users including pedestrians there had developed deaf ears on the horning sounds as they tried death-defying stunts in getting ahead.

I was amazed at how many different kinds of vehicle allowed on public roads there. Besides bicycles, cars and lorries, they have two-wheel motorbikes, three-wheel motorbikes, bull-carts, camel-carts and even farming tractors on roads between Delhi, Agra and Jaipur.

My wife and I felt that we were very lucky to have a safe driver assigned to us throughout our tour. Shalinder is our driver’s name. He is an Indian Muslim. He did not drive recklessly. But he still horned too often that we expected him to. He would pressed on the car horn continuously when he saw a motorbike, or whatever vehicle that may be, in front on our lane far ahead. And as usual, the motorbike showed no sign of giving way as if the horning was some sort of singing in the wind.

As I tried to analyze why do Indian drivers horn so often, I came across some colorful messages printed on the back of some lorries, ‘Horn Please – Use Dipper at Night’. Apparently, the lorry drivers could not see what was coming from behind. Vehicles from behind were encouraged to signal either by horning or using high beam at night (to minimize noise?). And why was it that they could not see what was coming from behind? Because either the side mirrors were flushed with the vehicles' body and thus not usable or the side mirrors were not installed at all! The same situation occurred to cars and motorbikes. It was just that there was no space on other vehicles for such colorful messages.

And why didn’t they install side mirror, which is an important safety feature? To reduce aerodynamic drag and save fuel, I guessed.

Road to Taj Mahal I - Emblem of Love

2008-01-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

Visiting Taj Mahal has been on our to-do list for a long time. Taj Mahal, being one of the Seven Wonders of the World remains a sparkling tourist attraction to us especially my wife, whose life’s goals include visiting all of the Seven Wonders of the World.

And so we did two weeks ago, when the timing and conditions were right. More significantly, having a picture of the two of us taken with Taj Mahal in the background signifies a milestone in our marriage. We have been married for six years. Our son is now seventeen months old. Taj Mahal as an emblem of long lasting love is witness to our strengthening relationship and our commitment to propel our marriage to greater levels.

Indian Emperor Shah Jahan built Taj Mahal as a memorial for his second wife, Mumtaz Mahal, who died giving birth to their fourteenth child in 1631. The Emperor loved his wife so much that her death is said to have caused his hair to turn white overnight. It took 22 years to build and in total, it took 20,000 people from India and as far afield as Europe to produce the exquisite marble screens and marble inlay work made with thousands of semiprecious stones.

Poets have described its beauty using phrases like ‘a teardrop on the face of eternity’ and ‘the embodiment of all things pure’।

Snow in Singapore!

2007-12-11T13:50:00.000+08:00

Will you be here for Christmas? Yes, it’s snowing in front of Tanglin Mall at Orchard Road in Singapore. My son and many other ‘kids’ big or small are having so much fun playing with the snow.
You might want to bring some spare clothing to change after playing in the 'snow' as it’s foam sprayed out from machines.

At the very least, come and enjoy the Christmas lighting decoration along Orchard Road. It’s breath-taking!

Botak Jones Western Food

2007-12-04T18:08:00.000+08:00

Heard about Botak Jones Western Food from a colleague of mine. A westerner named Jones who is bald (‘botak’ means bald in Malay language) sells western food in coffee shops located in neighborhood areas, not in big restaurants or shopping malls in the city. The food is so good that the wait is about an hour even during non-peak hours.

So I drove for about twenty minutes with my wife to get to their main outlet in Ang Mo Kio, a township in the north of Singapore.

Yes, the western food stall is set in a typical coffee shop without air-conditioning. We were there at 2:30pm and the wait was about 15 minutes. We are very fascinated by the way the menu is written. Every item comes with some humorous explanation. And what impresses me is the way they explained why they have cut down the portion of the fries given. It is to reduce wastage. And we are always welcome to ask for more should we need them.

The staff was friendly and smiley. I ordered The Botak Burger and my wife, Cajun Chicken. The verdict? So so only, really. That means average standard, if you don’t understand Singlish. Although we were hungry, we should have just ordered the sandwich only instead of the set, which comes with fries and coleslaw. The portion was quite big for an Asian like me. The fries are spicy fries, not like the ones you find in Macdonald’s or Burger King, which made them unique but not commonly acceptable.

Well, have a look at their website. You will know what I mean by the humor that comes with their menu. Does it worth driving all the way to one of their outlets to have a western meal without air-con? I will leave it up to you. For me, I am quite happy with Macdonald’s or KFC.

http://www.botakjones.com

Risk

2007-11-27T09:24:00.000+08:00

My wife was looking for suitable business partners to embark on a business venture together. So we talked to some of friends whom we think have great potential to work and grow together.

Most of them have these first reactions:

Is it safe?

Is the return-of-investment guaranteed?

Oh, I have seen these being done by others already. There are a lot of these products in the market. Is the market saturated?

Is it competitive?

Having read the books by Robert T. Kiyosaki, we know people’s core values can be divided into that of poor, middle-income and rich.

In decreasing degree, the poor and middle-income core values are that of safety and security, whilst the rich focus on risk and reward.

Coming from poor and middle-income families, we ‘inherited’ the core values of the poor and middle-income people. It took us years of education and experience to realize what is limiting us. There after we commit ourselves to change and still in the process of changing.

Ann Landers’ poem:

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out for another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk rejection.

To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love.

Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.

Only a person who takes risks is free.

Bulgogi Beef and Spicy Tou Fu Soup

2007-10-31T15:30:00.001+08:00

My first encounter with Korean food was in Seoul, the capital city of South Korea. It was the beginning of winter and the air outside was chilly and crisp. There was a medium-sized family-run restaurant at Namdaemun, not too far from the hotel that our crews were staying.

Raw bulgogi-sauce-marinated beef was left on a portable gas-operated stove to cook while we savour the many different side dishes that come with the main course such as Kim chi (preserved spicy cabbage), marinated beansprout, fishcakes, black beans, anchovies and so on.

Slices of cooked beef were then wrapped in green vegetable and eaten while hot. It was love at first bite. The beef was so tender and juicy that I could not help wanting for more. The taste was a little sweet but unique.

Then came the Spicy Tou Fu Soup. The steaming spicy hot soup served in earthenware for keeping warm, coupled with the softness of the tou fu (bean curd) were just perfect for winter.

Subsequently, I discovered a lot more about Korean food in Korean Town in Manhattan, New York. There are a lot of Korean restaurants that open for 24 hour in Korean Town in Manhattan. Coming from the other half of the globe, 24-hour restaurants are perfect for people like me who are coping with jet lag. Even though Korean Town is about 20 minutes walk away from the hotel that we are staying, the love for Korean food often motivates me to make my way there.

Cuti-cuti Malaysia - Last Day - The Horror of Time-sharing Scheme

2007-10-16T20:43:00.000+08:00

We left Sungai Petani (SP) with lots of mooncakes, Old Town White Coffee and pamelos in our car boot. The drive from SP to Kuala Lumpur (KL) was about four and half hour. Driving along the North-South Highway (PLUS), we made pitstops to break the monotony of the drive. Restoran Jejantas (literally, restaurant located on an overhead bridge spanning both sides of the highway) was our favourite place for stopping.

Not only the place has lots of carpark lots, it has big toilets and a variety of restaurants. We could choose among the many choices available, Malay Mixed Rice, KFC, Burger King, A & W or Dunkin’ Doughnut. There is also an Adidas sports goods outlet for us to shop too.

The journey would have been shorter if not for the time taken to locate Golden City Condominium located along Jalan Ipoh in KL. We took an earlier exit from the highway thinking that we could avoid the peak hour traffic jam in KL city. But we still ended up going round and round for a while getting stuck in a jam before we finally managed to locate this condominium allocated for us under our brother-in-law’s participation in a time-sharing scheme.

We have heard horrible stories of a time-sharing scheme. The hard-sell tactics used aside, participants are asked to pay a certain amount of fees upfront to secure a number of holiday stay in participating accommodation facilities such as condominiums, apartments or hotels. Our kind brother-in-law let us use part of his yearly quota since he and his family won’t be able to finish it all due to time constraint.

We already had a taste of what it was when we stayed at the condominium in Port Dickson on our first night of the trip. The place was poorly maintained and was not the best located. And the Golden City Condominium (http://www.leisureholidays.com.my/) located next to the Dynasty Hotel gave us the same rundown experience. The management office was located in one of the condo units in the building. We were greeted by two polite Malay ladies who were watching TV in the apartment when we stepped in.

After getting the keys and went into our allocated unit, we were quite ok to discover the place spacious and had a good view from the living room. However, it was quite obvious that this apartment had not been occupied for quite some time. The floor and bed were dusty. And we also struggled with the remote control to finally realize that only one of the three bedrooms had air-conditioning working.

So I called the Malay lady whom I had just met when I checked in. To my huge dismay, she replied matter-of-factly that all the condo units suffered the same air-con problem, only one of the rooms would have the air-con working. The last straw was that she did not express even a tiny sense of apology.

We have had enough of rundown apartments. We wanted our last night of this driving trip a pleasant and memorable one, so we decided to check out the newly renovated Crown Regency (http://www.crownregency.com.my/crown/). For a promotional rate of RM350 a night, the experience was a whole world of difference!

I am not sure whether all the accommodations available under this time-sharing scheme are of the same standard. Or is it just those available in Malaysia? All the apartments that we stayed in during this trip suffered from poor maintenance and management. A lot of my friends said that this is one of the major problems facing the Malaysia property scene.

Malaysia has a lot of natural resources that offer great tourism values, if only there is proper management and upkeep. Looks like a lot more need to be done to attract both first-time and revisiting visitors.

More info on time-sharing scheme:

http://www.crimes-of-persuasion.com/Crimes/InPerson/MajorPerson/time_shares.htm

http://www.globalresales.co.uk/timeshare-resorts/Golden-City-Condominiums.html

Cuti-cuti Malaysia - Day 4 through Day 6 - Sungai Petani and Penang

2007-10-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

My hometown, Sungai Petani, SP in short, is often mistaken as a place in Thailand, Patani. And most of my Singaporean friends thought that it is located at the Thai border. Well, it’s nearer than what you thought. It’s just 30 minutes drive away from Butterworth, the seaport town of Penang state in the northwest corner of Peninsular Malaysia. Of course, near or far, it depends on where you come from, right?

I left my hometown for further studies in Singapore 17 years ago. This trip is my first trip driving my first car home. It feels great. It has a sense of achievement attached, especially when I have a family of my own with me.

SP has developed a lot in the past 17 years. Lots of new housing estates sprung up like mushrooms after the rain. Population has grown large enough for big retail chains Giant Hypermarket and Tesco Supermarket to open their stores here.

The economic activities here are mainly industrial. There are a lot of plastic and electronic factories located around this town. They provide the main driving force behind the banking and retailing industries.

I don’t consider myself as a tourist back in my hometown, but the priorities are the same: eating and shopping. My wife has fallen in love with Penang Assam Laksa – noodles in sour minced fish meat soup. There is this particular hawker that sells laksa from a corner house located at a T-junction in SP that is only well known among the locals. My wife could go there everyday if possible.

But, why not go for an authentic Penang Laksa in Penang? And so we went to Penang on day 4 of our trip. Driving to Penang Island through Penang Bridge took us about 45 minutes. The first place that came to our mind was the latest and largest shopping mall called Queensbay Mall (http://www.queensbaymall.com.my/). I won’t bore you with the details of shopping and eating in this mall. But I had my haircut in a newly open Quickcut outlet there. I was quite happy with the service. Not only it was quick – done in ten minutes – the vacuum suction applied on my head and shoulder after the haircut through a flexible tube hanging on the wall left me feeling clean and neat – no more irritating tiny hairs strewn all over my shirt. Do check out their website: http://www.quickcut.com.my/

Of course, Old Town White Coffee (http://www.oldtown.com.my/) has a branch there as well.

After Queensway Mall, we stopped by a coffee shop along Macalister Road for a treat on some mouth-watering authentic Penang hawker fare. Char Kway Teow (Friend Flat Noodles in Hokkien), Penang Laksa, Pok Piah (Shredded Radish wrapped in thin flour wrap), Hokkien Prawn Mee, O Luak (Fried Oyster Omelette) and so on. Felt bloated? Have some refreshing sugarcane juice.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penang_cuisine

We spent the next day enjoying the mental peacefulness in SP – something that is hard to come by in Singapore. Met up with our uncle’s family for dinner before preparing for the drive back the next day. Before that, my wife, who is one of the lady bosses of Scent Discovery (http://www.scentdiscovery.com/), did not forget to check out one of the spas providing facial and massage services located in SP as part of her market survey. The service was just standard but overpriced, she said.

Cuti-cuti Malaysia – Day 3 – Around Ipoh

2007-10-01T17:51:00.000+08:00

After leaving Fraser’s Hill with lots of mosquito bite marks on Caden, we headed for my hometown – Sungai Petani. But not forgetting to stop by Ipoh for the famous Ipoh ‘Hor Fun’ – white flat noodles that are served together with bean sprout and soy source steamed chicken. It was raining heavily. After much of going round Ipoh town center trying to choose ‘the best’ Ipoh Hor Fun restaurant, we finally settled down with one that said ‘original Ipoh Hor Fun’ coffee shop. There are many ‘original’ Ipoh Hor Fun coffee shops, of course!

We parked right in front of the shop and one of the waiters was really quick to bring us an umbrella. Talk about Ipoh hospitality!

We had a choice of hor fun in soup or in dry soy source. I preferred the soupy one as the steaming hot soup went well with cold temperature.

Guess what we did after eating? Shop! That’s right.

Ipoh, being the capital for the state of Perak, is not short of pamelos and White Coffee. One company named Old Town White Coffee has a franchise of coffee shops all over Malaysia serving white coffee and local hawker fare such as kaya toasts, laksa, curry noodles and so on. I fell in love with White Coffee the first time I drank it. Why is White Coffee white? Isn’t all coffee black? Check this out!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ipoh_white_coffee

Our car boot was already three quarter full with our luggage. A few more pamelos and large packets of white coffee sachets had definitely added more load on our poor Nissan Latio.

It continued to rain heavily as we set off to Sungai Petani from Ipoh. However, it did not dampen our spirit to locate Perak Cave – a huge limestone cave which houses a Chinese temple, home to a large Buddha statue and many more smaller sized deity statues. It has a steep, tall staircase in the interior of the cave rising up to the top of its hill where one is greeted by a panoramic view of Ipoh and its surroundings.

We arrived Sungai Petani in the evening. Our Nissan Latio had a good shower by the rain. It also had a wash of ‘its bottom’ as we had to drive through some flood water before reaching our house.

Cuti-cuti Malaysia - Day Two - The Mosqito War at Fraser's Hill

2007-09-27T15:31:00.000+08:00

We stayed at a rundown condominium managed under a time-sharing scheme at Port Dickson the night before. The buildings and the facilities were constructed quite nicely. However, the conditions had since deteriorated due to poor maintenance. Although the free-form pool seen from our apartment window looked inviting, we were cautious on letting our one-year-old Caden crawling around on the floor. The tiles were dirty.

Anyway, we were there just for a short night and we got out of there first thing in the morning. The condominium was not at the beach. So we had to stop by one of the many beach resorts located along the Port Dickson Beach to have at least a photo taken to prove that we had been there. Here it is.

The drive towards Fraser’s Hill took two hours. The road up the hill got more winding as we went further. The lush green tropical rainforest offered some refreshing atmosphere. We spotted some monkeys and colorful birds. But our boy was too tired to look at them.

The last 8 km up to the top was a one-way single lane tarred-road. This road was called ‘The Gap’. Before a new road was constructed not too far from The Gap, there used to have restriction on the timings to drive up the hill. Traffic was only allowed in one direction on alternate hour. For example, going up was only allowed during odd hours and going down during even hours. Not anymore now. Another one-way road had since been constructed and it had brought much convenience to the visitors.

We stayed at The Pines Resort at Fraser’s Hill. We were initially quite pleased to see so many plants and flowers that added to the serenity of the place. The big rooms of the apartment also came with kitchen and dining table. However, the sofa and carpet were dusty and moist. As a family, there was really nothing much to do except to drive around in the car for sight seeing. There was a golf course, a horse riding track, numerous juggle tracking paths and a small pond for canoeing. Dinner was settled at the resorts’ restaurant. The food was not too bad although pricy.

The weather was naturally cool due the high elevation and hence no air-condition. So we left the bedroom door open for fresh air and ventilation. Unfortunately, that also allowed uninvited quests – mosquitoes – to come in.

I was woken up in the middle of the night by the irritating buzzing noise of the mosquitoes. My son who slept on the same bed with us was busy fencing off the mosquitoes’ attack on his chubby face. I quickly applied some essential oil on his face and hands to repel the mosquitoes. That helped him quite a bit but not enough. His grandma counted twenty over mosquito bites on his face and hands the next morning. I felt quilty as a father. I could have done more to fight those mosquitoes. Although at that time, I could not think of any other way.

Both my wife and I agreed that we would not go back to Fraser’s Hill for a long time. Not just because of what the mosquitoes did to our son, that place was simply boring. Nonetheless, the place was great for practicing meditation. It was a perfect place for those who want to get away from the crowd to ‘find meaning in life’.

Cuti-cuti Malaysia - Day One

2007-09-21T22:50:00.000+08:00

I did a seven-day driving holiday trip in Malaysia recently. The itinery went like this:
Singapore- Melacca - Port Dickson- Fraser’s Hills - Ipoh - Sungai Petani - Kuala Lumpur - Singapore.

Day One

We started off driving from Singapore up north to Melacca where we stopped for a Peranakan (Straits Chinese) lunch.

The drive through Singapore and Malaysia immigrations was a breeze. Not so much waiting as it was a weekday morning. Stopped by a money changer in the southern most town of Malaysia – Johor Bahru to get some local currency – Ringgit. The number of money changers in Johor Bahru astonished us. There were just so many of them in one area. And they offer very good rates too as a result of stiff competition.

Traffic along the North-South Highway in Malaysia was smooth. The gentle rocking movement of the car made my boy slept through most of the way.

First stop – Melacca. Malacca was one of oldest places where the Chinese Immigrants first settled in. They arrived in the 1800s and cross marriage with the local Malays gave rise to a unique ‘Peranakan’ (Straits Chinese) Culture. The men were called ‘Baba’ and women ‘Nyoya’.

A few well-known Peranakan foods include Curry Laksa, Mee Siam, Chicken Buah Keluak and Ice-kacang. We stopped by a restaurant in an old shophouse behind the OCBC bank for some Peranakan food. It was not our first time there. The carpark in front of this restaurant used to be free. Not anymore. We were warned by two friendly and helpful Melaccans as we parked the car. One even offered to sell us the local parking coupons.

The food used to be tastier as far as I could remember. The Ice-kacang (an iced dessert with red beans, green jelly, sweet corn and Atap seeds topped with colourful syrup and brown coconut sugar syrup) was as mouth-watering as ever!

Next, as requested by my beloved wife, we went shopping at Mahkota Parade Shopping Mall – a huge and spacious shopping centre with lots of variety of goods and services. Prominent shops include Parkson Grand Departmental Stall, MPH bookshop, Nose Shoes, etc.

http://www.virtualmalaysia.com/directory/shopping/view_shopping_centre.cfm?ID=F295A0E7-1792-11D6-B32A00D0B78F6634

And guess what did my wife and mum-in-law buy? Let me give you a hint: Women usually have more than one of these. Different colours and designs to match their outfit. And most of those bought are worn just for a few occasions, then kept in the rack for most of the time.

Got it? Yes, shoes!

As we drove away from Mahkota Parade, we discovered looking out from the car that there is a new shopping centre right opposite Mahkota Parade – Pahlawan Square Mall. There is an even bigger local women shoe retail brand in the mall – Vinci. Looks like we will go back there for more!

http://planet.time.net.my/CentralMarket/melaka1001/pahlawan.html

Energy Level

2007-09-14T17:21:00.000+08:00

My wife and I attended “Unlimited Power” Seminar featuring Anthony Robins, Allan Pease and Stephen Pierce recently. We have heard of Anthony Robins for a long time. We have heard of how powerful he is in motivating people and empowering people to change for betterment.

You probably do not need me to describe more about Anthony Robins. A lot of information about him or furnished by him is readily available on the internet and in reading materials all over the world. Basically, he uses Neuro-linguistic Programming to change our emotional state to optimum level to achieve results that we wanted. During his seminar, he highlighted how important it is for us to be at the ‘peak energy state’ to be able to attract people and also to continue to strive towards our goals.

When we realized we are down or not at our ‘peak energy state’, one way to motivate ourselves is to change our physiological state such as exercising or dancing. When we move, motion brings about emotion and we change our emotional state.

During the seminar, for countless times, Anthony asked the 5000 strong audience to be on their feet to jump and dance to upbeat music to elevate their emotional state. He told us to let go of our adult inhibitions. He asked us to be spontaneous like children to be able to experience the extremes in emotional states again. He talked for more than two hours. Not even a minute did he let us feel boring or dull in his presentation. Allan Pease and Stephen Pierce were not as energetic compared to Anthony, although their speech content were no less important.

So rate your energy level now, 0 being the lowest and 10 being the highest. What is your energy level now?

Do you notice Anthony Robbin’s energy level? If your current energy level is low, come on, move your body, pump up the volume and dance!

Parentwonder.com

2007-08-31T15:51:00.000+08:00

Abel Cheng is the husband of an old friend of mine back in primary school. He is full of entrepreneur spirit and drive. He had ventured into many businesses and www.parentwonder.com is one of his best products that I have come across.

Parentwonder.com offers many tips and information on parenting, marriage and life. I was invited to post a guest blog and I did. Here is the link to the article titled "Fairness: Where did a four-year-old learn that?":

http://www.parentwonder.com/content/view/343/1/

I hope you will like it and also stop by to navigate through many of the wonderful pages of Parentwonder.com. And feel free to leave comments.

What are you going to do after you retire?

2007-08-20T15:20:00.000+08:00

There is an investment banker who went on a holiday. He went out fishing with a fisherman during his trip.

Out of habit, he will ask questions regarding investment to everyone he meets. He asked the fisherman, “Do you have any plans on how to expand your fishing business?”

The fisherman replied, “No. Life is good for me now. I go out fishing in the morning, which is what I enjoy most. Sell my fish by mid-day. Then I will have the rest of the day lying on the beach and relax.”

“Don’t you want to expand your business by buying more boats, hiring staff to catch more fish for you?”

The fisherman winked, “And what will I do after achieving all that?”

“Then you can retire, have your free time to do whatever you want or simply lying on a beach and relax.”

“Isn’t that what I am doing right now?”

So my friend, what are you going to do after you retire? If you plan to play golf after retirement, why can’t you play golf right now? If you are going to do what you enjoy doing after retirement, why can’t you do it right now?

No time lar… I heard some of you said. But time is what we make right? Eh, not so easy man. If we are doing something just to make money but not enjoying it, is that still living? I understand, we have no choice sometimes. Well, at other times? Actually, we have a choice all the time. The point is whether we want to take up the responsibility and have the courage to make a change.

The term ‘Retirement’ is a very vague term. Most of the people usually go by the official definition of retiring at the age of 62 as set out by the Ministry of Manpower guidelines. Do we really have to follow the guidelines? Not necessary. The fact is most of the people realized the importance of retirement planning. But somehow other financial issues such as getting married, buying bigger house and car, going for holidays, child education and so on take priorities. Or maybe back in our mind, age 62 is still far away.

If you have read the book ‘Rich Dad Poor Dad’ and ‘The Cashflow Quadrant’ by Robert Kiyosaki, ‘retirement’ is defined as the period of time where passive income is more than our living expenses. Come to think of it, this definition is very appropriate. We can retire when we no longer have to worry about working to pay for our daily expenses. At that stage, we have sufficiently built up our financial reserves or assets that will give us residue income such as rental income or royalty to cover our expenditure. In other words, we no longer have to work for money anymore. Going by this definition, the retirement age is no longer significant. We can retire anytime when we have built up sufficient retirement fund. It could be earlier or later than 62. If we don’t work on it earlier, it could happen when we are older than 62. And life might be more difficult then because most of companies today do not employ people older than 62.

Another pressing question is how much retirement fund is sufficient? And will it increase as we age? You will have to answer that question for yourself.

So back to the question of what do I want to do after I retire? I will continue to fly as an airline pilot. Why? A lot of colleagues asked me. I thought retirement means not having to work anymore? ‘Because I love to’ is my answer. After retirement, I will fly not for the money, but for the pleasure of flying. Of course, due to licensing requirement, I won’t be allowed to fly after the age of 62. Then I will continue to blog. You will continue to see me online. Because that is what I love to do.

Retiring does not mean waiting to age and die at home. It simply means we no longer have to work for money. Does that mean that the old folks that we see working in Macdonald’s restaurants have to work because they need money? Maybe. Maybe not all of them. Some might be there because they just want to kill time or get rid of the boredom staying at home.

I see seniors working at Changi Airport too. Some of them help to direct traffic at taxi stands. Some of them go around collecting luggage trolleys left behind by passengers. They will consolidate all the trolleys together, tie them up and drag them using a buggy to the luggage collection point. Have you seen the buggy that they drove? It looks like those being used in the golf course but smaller. It looks fun driving around in them. For one moment, I can imagine myself driving around in those buggies in the arrival/transit hall in the airport.

Pictures are taken at Tonle Sap, Cambodia.

Central Monitoring System (CMS)

2007-06-27T11:13:00.000+08:00

Hi, my name is Central Monitoring System, or CMS in short. I exist in most of the modern aircrafts these days including those manufactured by Boeing, Airbus and Learjet. As my name suggests, I am in charge of monitoring the overall aircraft systems and giving the pilots warning or caution messages when there is a malfunction.

I am named EICAS in this Boeing 777 aircraft. EICAS stands for Engine Indicating and Crew Alerting System.

I am named ECAM in this Airbus 340 aircraft. ECAM stands for Electronic Centralised Aircraft Monitor.

The aircraft systems that I monitor include Engines performance, Fuel management, Navigation accuracy, Hydraulic and Electrical systems and many more. As more and more people are traveling by air these days, my role to assist the pilots in executing a safe flight has become increasingly important. The pilots rely on me to give them the correct steps in the form of a checklist to execute should there be a malfunction in any of the aircraft systems that I monitor.

For example, if one of the landing gears did not come down during an approach to land, I would be able to sense it through my sensors and warn the pilots through visual and audio means. Visual means include showing red colour coded messages on the computer screens. Audio means include continuous repetitive chime over the speakers in the cockpit. Through the computer screen, I would also instruct the pilots to take alternative steps to lower the landing gear such as recycling the landing gear lever or lowering the gear through gravity extension.

Having said all that, like all computer systems, I am only as smart as what my manufacturer made me. I rely very much on my sensors and the computer algorithm programmed into my ‘brain’. I may sometimes, due to system complexity and redundancy, give wrong signals to the pilots. In such cases, instead of helping them, I confuse them. Sometimes, sad to say, this can lead to fatal consequences.

Yes, if you are smart enough to correlate, I exist in every one of you too. My sensors are your eyes, ears, nose, tongue and skin. I process sensory information to tell you, among many things, whether it is cold or hot, whether you need to wear thicker clothing or not for example.

I also grow smarter as you grow older. I am able to take in and store information. When a new event occurs, I will process it based on what I have been told, i.e. based on your ‘knowledge’. When the same event occurs again, I will most likely process it the same way like I did before unless you consciously tell me to do otherwise. As more and more events and information are stored, my database grows larger and you become more ‘experienced’.

Just one word of caution, like I have mentioned before, I am only as smart as what I have been told. The education that you received in school plays a large part in ‘shaping’ me. What your parents and friends told you and how they behave are also taken in by me, be it consciously or subconsciously. Your religious beliefs will also make me process information in a certain way. Sometimes not based on logic.

I will also put the things that you see or hear through the ‘internal checking’ process. After which, depending on how old you are, I will give you the results as ‘moral judgment’. Then I will also instruct you to behave accordingly.

Certain information, depending on how I am programmed, will make me give you the feelings of happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, confusion and so on. And based on these emotions, I will also make you act constructively or destructively.

The question is: Are you aware of my existence?

If yes, are you going to make sure that I receive only ‘good’ inputs so that I will grow wiser and greater?

In this human body, I am named the same as the child - Caden Chan.

Sawadeekhap...

2007-06-02T21:38:00.000+08:00

I was in Bangkok for 6 days last week preparing for a simulator training session while my wife attended a traditional Thai massage course in a school next to Wat Pho – Temple of Reclining Buddha. http://bml.uoregon.edu/keitan/watpho/

For those of you who have been to Bangkok, you know Bangkok hardly sleeps. Activities go on late or shall I say early into the wee hours in the morning. For every 200 meters we walked, we come across a massage joint or a 24-hour grocery store. Besides savouring authentic Tom Yum Soup and relaxing in the good hands of a Thai massage therapist, we just could not do enough shopping in this Asian City of Angels.

From Jatujak Weekend Market, where we could get practically anything under the sun including pets, to Suan Lum Night Market to seven-storey high Mah Boon Kong (MBK) Shopping Center to posh and trendy Central World, we were truly amazed by the variety and colours of Thai merchandise and hospitality.

That of Entrepreneur Spirit…

Thai people use every single space round the corners and along the walkways to set up store to sell things. Hawker food, clothing, cosmetics, women accessories, etc, you name it you have it. Some of the walkways are really not suitable for displaying goods. They blocked the narrow walkway especially during peak hours. Do they need to have a license to set up those stalls?

Life must be tough for the locals huh? God knows what is their cost price and profit margin. Stall owners usually communicate by punching in their calculators with a price too high for their goods’ appearance. Then we would punch in a lower figure and we would most of the time ended up at a price somewhere in between the two. And their ‘Cop khun khap’ (Thank you), most of the time, come with a warm smile and hands clasp in front of their chests. Then further down the road, another hawker would offer us a lower price for the same merchandise. Sh**! We have since learnt not to ask for the price of the same merchandise again once we have bought them.

That of Thai Hospitality and Urbanisation…

I couldn’t get enough of that warm smile and hands clasp in front of the chest welcome from Thai people. I found it so humble and friendly that it never failed to brighten up my day. But my day soon darkened when I hopped into a cab.

First of all, not all Thai taxi drivers speak English. So we have to get prepared to get out of the taxi if the driver does not understand where you want to go or simply refuse to turn on their meters. Some would demand a flat price if you are going to a congested area such as Silom Road or China Town in the evening where there is high chance of getting stuck in a traffic jam. And you can forget about that warm smile, not to mention the loose change you are supposed to get. Just round it up to the nearest 10 Baht and consider it as a tip (not a usual practice in this part of the world).

That of Bangkok Jam…

Have you ever got stuck in a Bangkok traffic jam? Try it, if you want to enrich your life experience on what urbanization has done to this city. The mass transit train system seems futile in alleviating the congestion even though it is really quite and comfortable. I guess it’s because the train fare is still comparatively more expensive than the taxi fare on certain routes. And the train stations are not at the most strategic locations.

That of Tom Yum Goong, Green Curry and Pad Thai…

Speaking about congestion, we were having Duck Noodle Soup at a roadside hawker stall off Yaowarat Road, Chinatown when it started drizzling. We had to quickly seek shelter when the stall helpers set up big umbrellas next to our small dining table. Here we were savouring the hot soup with steam blurring my spectacles when a car appeared out of nowhere moving slowly towards me on my left. It was trying to move out of the alley where this hawker stall seemed to be one of the many other stalls that were in the way of this car. The driver honked lightly and reluctantly each stall inched out slowly of its way including the fruit stalls behind me and me! I actually had to stand up, pushed my chair aside for the car to go through!

Ha ha! That was one of the most memorable dining experience I had in Bangkok. The steaming hot soup, the humidity, and the sign language in the absence of a menu coupled with the thoughts of whether it was hygienic enough to eat at a roadside stall, they made perfect ingredients for a truly Thai city stay.

Guarded

2007-05-06T19:04:00.000+08:00

We went shopping at Vivocity – the largest retail mall in Singapore to date. (http://www.vivocity.com.sg) Here I was pushing Caden in his pram and walking along a crowded corridor outside fashion brands such as River Island, Gap, CLUBMARC and so on. A man in his late thirties dressed in jeans and white shirt walked towards us in the opposite direction. He was looking at the floor before he noticed Caden’s pram and he slowly lifted his gaze.

The neutral expression on his face turned into a warm smile when he saw Caden. Then his smile frozen and quickly turned into a defensive mask when he realized the baby’s father was noticing his face expression all this while.

It makes me wonder: Why do adults put down their defenses in front of a baby and quickly become guarded confronting another adult? What had happened as we grow up that made us build this imaginary wall around ourselves?

One thing for sure, we lost our innocence as we grow up. Perhaps, we have been hurt in the process. We realized that the world is not as pretty as what it seems. People can be nice and cruel at the same time. After we learnt about the hypocrisy of human nature and how selfish a person can get, we have lost our spontaneity and childlike curiosity.

Is that a good thing or bad? Perhaps a more relevant question is: Are we happy with what we have lost?

Maybe if I had smiled back to the gentlemen who smiled at my son, he would continue smiling at me too? Yeah, I was not smiling then. I was too proud of the fact that my son had brought down his defenses. My son is cute, huh? I continued with my stern expression. Oh no, you have misunderstood me, I love you smiling at my son.

Maybe that’s why we need babies. We need them to remind us where we come from, what we have become. We need them to remind us to ‘un-guard’ ourselves once in a while and be spontaneous.

So the next time you see a baby, it is okay to let your guard down and say hello. For a simple reason that that will make you happy. And if you don’t want to smile at the father, it is okay too. But retaining that innocence and warmth a little while longer will definitely make this world a better place. Especially when you see Caden and his father. And I promise I will smile back to you too. Cheers!

Born for Love

2007-04-22T01:36:00.000+08:00

“I am thirsty.”

“Be patient. You'll get your water soon. 70% of that planet's surface is covered with water.”

“Planet? What's that place?”

“It's where you will be spending the next 90 years of your life in.”

“Then who am I?”

“You are currently a form of energy, an entity in the universe, a pre-life form. The human beings called you, ‘Spirit’.”

“‘Spirit?’, is that going to be my permanent weird name?”

“You will have a new name, a blessed name. A kind woman will give birth to you, feed and protect you. You will grow up over time, blossom, age and die. You will have happiness, satisfaction, sadness and anger. You will taste the sweetness of being pampered, the agony of being torn apart. I guarantee you a wonderful journey beyond words.”

“Why? Why do I have to experience all that?”

“There is no why. There is no need to think too much. You will be guided by a unknown force. The ‘force’ will make you happy and will also drive you crazy. You will become selfish and will also achieve greatness. No one can run away from this ‘force’. It is enormous, it ensembles all things. It is the reason why the universe exists.”

“What is the universe?”

“It’s time. Proceed towards the light source.”

“Now?”

“Yes, go, go live and love.”

The above excerpt is translated from a paragraph of writing found in Taiwanese rock band Mayday (五月天) latest album 'Born for Love' (为爱而生). It makes me think a lot. It seems to remind me of the conversation my son, Caden had with a sage before he came into this world. Did I ask the same questions before too?

Definition of a Poor Person

2007-04-02T17:38:00.000+08:00

In my first few postings, I often mentioned that I came from a poor family background. So much so that a good friend of mine who frequented my blog remarked that I often emphasized on myself coming from a poor background. Well, how poor is poor? I found a definition of a poor person in the book by Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki: Why We Want You To Be Rich? (http://www.whywewantyoutoberich.com/)

Robert mentioned that a friend of his who worked in a wealth management firm said that the firm defines a poor person as someone who DID NOT have at least $100,000 in cash to invest. Not only the firm uses this criterion to take you in as their client, they also use the same criteria to hire someone as their brokerage agent. That criterion puts most of the people in the poor category. I am certainly one of those. :-)

This picture of living in poor conditions has been haunting me for the past 17 years. I was preparing for my secondary school leaving examination then. It was the poorest chapter of my life thus far. I have to write it down now in this blog as a psychotherapy healing. I have been trying hard to leave it behind me and move on with my life.

My family and I were staying with my grandparents in their wooden house. All my uncles and unties were married and had accumulated enough wealth to buy their own house. And so they left. My family was still trying very hard to make ends meet. But we were happy having the opportunity to take care of grandpa and grandma. The wooden house was almost 30 years old then and was situated right in the middle of a T road junction. The Chinese believed that such location was of bad ‘feng shui’. My parents often quarreled due to financial problems. The conditions of the wooden house had deteriorated so much that if we would have a structural engineer to have its structural integrity checked, we would be ordered to leave the house immediately due to the high possibilities of the house collapsing. The pillars of the house were badly eaten up by termites. The roof was leaking beyond repair.

There were nights I woke up after realizing there were raindrops on my feet. It was a two-storey wooden house. The rain had seeped through the broken roof and flooring and dripped onto my feet. The mattress under my feet was already soaking wet. I would spend the rest of the night praying for the rain would stop so that I could continue sleeping before attending school the next day. If that was not poor living conditions, I don’t know what is the meaning of poor. But our family members have grown stronger and united living through such conditions. My sister and brother have worked hard to bring back money and we managed to move out of the wooden house a year later.

Of course, this definition of a poor person is just looking at the financial condition of that person. Being in a poor financial condition does not mean that the person deserved to be looked down upon. Everyone having born into this world deserves to have a chance to live and do well be it financially, physically and spiritually. All these three aspects of life are interlinked. One way to break away from being poor and move up the social ladder is through education. Through education comes awareness of what makes a person poor. Then one has a choice to change for betterment.

For now, whatever definition of a poor person maybe, I know I have written that poor chapter of my life down and I will move on from here. I have my dear family members especially my elder brother to thank for what I can afford now. Thank you and I love you all.

Guess who is my papa?

2007-03-01T10:15:00.000+08:00

The Greatest Form of Wealth

2007-02-10T14:53:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is just round the corner. Sales advertisements on TV and newspapers, decorations in the shopping malls and songs played by the radio stations are all adding to the festive mood.

As we busy spring-cleaning our house and stocking up on the New Year goodies, back in our mind, we are always hopeful that this coming new year of the Pig will bring us lots of wealth and prosperity. One of the most common greetings we have for fellow Chinese is ‘Gong Xi Fa Cai’ which means wishing you good luck in acquiring wealth.

When we think about wealth, it is always related to money. We often say a person is rich when he has big houses and big cars and wears branded clothing. Those are material wealth and they are easy to be seen. And these impressions are always formed during Chinese New Year gatherings amongst the Chinese relatives and friends.

One strange phenomenon amongst my relatives is that we hardly keep in touch until there are occasions such as Chinese New Year celebrations, weddings and funerals. And for some, Chinese New Year celebration is one good opportunity to show off what they have achieved in the past one year. Going around visiting in new expensive clothes, watches and jewelries gives them an elevated feeling. After all, what’s wrong with that? I have worked hard to acquire those material goods. It’s not like I have stolen them from somewhere.

In his book ‘The Greatness Guide’, under subtitle ‘The Seven Forms of Wealth’, motivation guru Robin Sharma mentioned that wealth could come in seven different forms. They are:

(i) Inner wealth – positive mindset, inner peace, high self-respect and deep spiritual connection,
(ii) Physical wealth - health,
(iii) Family and social wealth – strong relationships with family members and friends,
(iv) Career wealth – professional achievements,
(v) Economic wealth – money and material acquisitions,
(vi) Adventure wealth – experience in meeting new challenges, traveling, forming new friendships and learning,
(vii) Impact wealth – to make a difference in other people’s lives.

The wealth that is easily seen comes in the form of physical wealth and economic wealth. Unless you communicate and understand more of a person, other forms of wealth are not apparent. Especially when you have a big group of relatives and friends during a gathering, you hardly have any time to catch up in depth. Exchanging ‘ang pows’ (red packets containing money – oh, money again) and mandarin oranges would have kept us busy enough. Not to mention we are suppose to say only good words for good luck and avoid bad things even though they might be true. A lot of people just chose to bury their heads in a game of mahjong or locking their eyes on TV or simply munching on Chinese New Year cookies.

To me, the greatest wealth that I have comes in the form of the relationship with my wife. Yeah, you think I am just trying to make her happy. Yes, you are right, my top priority is to make her happy. And I am not doing it because I have to. I do it because I want to, because I love her. And this wealth has multiplied. It comes in the form of relationships with our son, Caden. Oh gee, I cannot be mushier than that.

So, as we make our New Year resolutions and celebrating Valentine’s Day and Chinese New Year one after the other, perhaps we should look further than just wealth on the surface. There are many other forms of wealth that we should strive to acquire in order to be a truly rich person.

Thr Rule of 90/10

2007-01-25T13:47:00.000+08:00

The ratio of 90/10 could be further reduced to 95/5 or even 99/1. The actual number is not as important as to illustrate the contrast between the majority and the minority.

10 percent of the world population controls 90 percent of world total wealth.

Out of 10 Olympic participants, only 1 gets the gold medal. The ratio is 9 to 1.

90 percent of business fails within the first five years. 10 percent succeeded. Of that 10 percent, 90 percent would have failed many times before. And 90 percent of those succeeded will fail within the next ten years.

90 percent of the flights worldwide took off and landed safely. 10 percent got involved in incident/accident with/without casualty.

90 percent of landings done by a pilot are smooth and comfortable. 10 percent are considered ‘firm or rough or bumpy or uncomfortable’. Passengers focus on that 10 percent and say that this pilot is unskillful.

90 percent of the news reported is bad news. They are either news on disasters, theft, murder, victimization, etc. Only 10 percent is good news and is usually reported at the end of the show.

90 percent of the people choose to be average and comfortable. They refuse to step out of their comfort zone and ‘rock the boat’. 10 percent who chose to take some risk often ended up disappointed and got ‘laughed at’ by the 90 percent.

90 percent of the people are contented with mediocrity. Only 10 percent excel in what they are doing. 90 percent of the people live and die and won’t be remembered soon after they left. Only 10 percent left a legacy. They had contributed so much that they left the world a billion times better than when they first found it.

Should I be among that 90 percent? Knowing that it is definitely not easy to be in that 10 percent, should I still try? Should I continue to live in fear of losing what I have or should I risk losing some of what I have and start living with courage and in high spirit?

Walking Down the Memory Lane

2007-01-06T16:52:00.000+08:00

I went back to my hometown to renew my passport recently. It has been 15 years since I left this small town named Sungai Petani located in Northern Peninsular Malaysia for greener pasture in Singapore.

The ‘dim sum’ restaurant my grand father used to frequent so often had since disappeared. He went there ritually every morning to meet his old friends over a pot of Chinese tea and a plate of ‘siew mai’ (steamed minced meat dumpling). I got to tag along as I was his favorite grand son. I was young then. (And still is :-)) My grandpa had passed on. So did many of his friends and now his favourite restaurant too.

I purposely stopped for lunch at one of the coffee shops located in the town center. The chicken rice still tasted as good. But the price had increased by more than 50%.

And guess what? The driving school that I took my first driving lesson was there waiting patiently for me to come back to visit.

After flying to so many places around the world, I still prefer the familiar old charm of my hometown. The people here are still simple, friendly and down-to-earth. It is a good place for me to lay back, relax and enjoy life. If nothing else worth mentioning, a tasty bowl of ‘Asam Laksa’ (white round noodles in sour minced fish soup) should make your visit here worthwhile.

Loving Selflessly

2006-12-31T18:07:00.000+08:00

I was changing my son’s diaper when this strange thought appeared in my head: Would our roles be reversed fifty years from now? Would it be my son who is standing beside my bed attending to my physical needs when I am too old to get down from my bed?

Then I realized I should not be so selfish as to ask for any returns from my son for taking care of him right now. I should be willing to give my love to him without asking for returns. Or am I just being human?

My son Caden is now coming to five months old and knows how to turn over onto his belly. He is learning how to crawl forward by bending his knees and back. The feeling of joy looking at him growing bigger and stronger each day is indescribable. It is like living all over again observing how a human being learning the basic bodily functions starting from breathing to moving hands and legs to flipping over etc. etc.

There are times at night I wake up to see whether he is breathing properly sleeping on his belly. Even more frequently I am concerned about whether his clothing is warm enough to resist the cold temperature. Would he develop rashes if I didn’t change his diaper often enough? Is 150ml of milk sufficient to last him for the next 4 hours?

Our dearest Caden, 50 years from now, would you still remember how much sleep daddy and mummy have sacrificed to get up and feed you early in the morning?

Becoming a Househusband - a tribute to my lovely wife

2006-11-24T15:06:00.000+08:00

My lovely wife often asks me: “What is your dream, my dear?”

“I hope to become a househusband,” I often answer cheekily.

“No. I don’t think you can. You have a big male ego problem,” came her right-in-your-face reply.

Oh yeah, maybe she is right. I love my flying career very much. It will be tough for me to quit flying to take care of the kid and household chores at home. But my answer is not unreasonable.

My wife is always an entrepreneur at heart. She has always wanted to start her own spa business. Her passion lies in the face and body wellness industry. Her university degree in Business Administration does not satisfy her thirst for knowledge. She went on to pursue a diploma in Aromatherapy and a certificate in Chinese Traditional Massage.

When the opportunity came along that a spa was in need of a change of management, she, with the help of a partner, just took the plunge to take over the business. Of course, I gave her all my support.

We are fully aware of the risks involved in starting a business. If what Robert Kiyosaki said is correct, 95 per cent of the businesses fail within the first 5 years. And amongst that 5 per cent that succeeded, many would have failed many times before. So do we have what it takes to succeed?

My wife and I ask each other this question many times. To be honest, we don’t know the answer. We only know that we should keep doing what we are passionate about. Keep on improving on what we love to do everyday and success and wealth becomes the by-products that come along in an enjoyable life.

When we invited a good friend of ours to the opening of our spa, he asked me whether I quit flying to help out with the business too. I laughed and thanked him for the compliment. Not so soon, my friend. But I wish I could eventually. Then I could help by sending the kids to school, fetching her around and carrying her suitcases for her. In a private jet, maybe.

Please feel free to pop by our spa.

221, Balestier Road,
Rocca Balestier #02-06/07
Singapore 329928.
Tel: 6256 5288
Opening Hours:
Mon-Sat: 11am – 9:30pm
Sun & Public Holidays: 11am – 6pm

Taboo

2006-11-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

There is this practice inherent in our Chinese culture that the baby should not be commented outright, especially in front of the child.

Just the other day, I was surprised by the fact that Caden does not vomit as much compared to my nephew when he was Caden’s age. So I mentioned it to my wife in front of the baby and immediately she put her index finger up against her month to signal me to shut up. She told me later that I should not give Caden the bad idea. As if once Caden knows what is vomiting, he will start to vomit more.

Then on another occasion, our university friends came to see the baby. One of them gasped, “He is so chubby and cute!”

“Shhhh…”, another friend reacted instantaneously.

Strange, I have no idea how this practice came about in our culture. Does that also lead to why we are so reluctant to praise and encourage someone?

There is also a Malay saying Pantang dipuji which literally means “praising is a taboo”. For example, after someone who plays a good game in tennis is praised, he subsequently plays a bad game. His performance goes downhill after the praise. We say that he is pantang dipuji. Praising him is a taboo.

So, going by this reasoning, Caden may not be cute and chubby anymore after he knows that he is complemented?

Recognising that this is a chance (maybe the only chance) for me to practice my research skills obtained through my mechanical engineering degree, I tried to find a scientific explanation to this. During the course of my research, I come across Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP).

Having read the book ‘Master Your Mind, Design Your Destiny’ by Adam Khoo, an expert in NLP (www.akltg.com), I am aware of how words can have a major impact on our behaviour and achievement in life. For example, a child who is frequently scolded, ‘You are a naughty boy. You are so naughty. I don’t know what I have done to deserve a naughty boy like you,’ from parents is most likely going to end up really naughty. It is simply because the child has been ‘programmed’ to be naughty unintentionally by the parents.

This goes with the phenomenon of people only hear certain keywords and not the whole phrase. For example, when you tell a child ‘Don’t drop your ice-cream.’ The next thing you know is he drops it. When you tell people ‘Don’t panic!’ people start to scream and scramble. Our brain only picks up ‘drop’ and ‘panic’ and not the ‘don’t’. By the same reasoning, when I made a comment that Caden does not vomit that much, he only hears me said ‘vomit’ and not the rest. And so he will think that I want him to vomit more.

Still, NLP does not explain why we should not praise a child within his earshot. Maybe we are afraid of the Patang dipuji phenomena.

Thanks to the Internet and digital media, we are constantly being bombarded with high volume of information and messages. Whether we like it or not, these information being negative or positive, is being absorbed into our mind. Our mind governs our actions and behaviours and hence our achievements in life. So don’t be surprised if you see young people smoking like nobody’s business because that is the cool message that they get from TV commercials and also the smoking adults around them. Children embrace sex and violence like fish embracing water as those elements are the norm in movies and computer games.

Whether it is NLP or Pantang dipuji, I have to be aware of what is going into Caden’s mind. Minds leads to thoughts and in turn leads to actions and results. Caden has to have the right mindset in order to be a Smart Multi-billionaire!

(See September posting "Smart Multi-billionaire".)

Unintended Influences

2006-11-07T13:47:00.000+08:00

I was driving to my colleague’s wedding dinner the other day. There were five of us in the car. Among them were the son of another colleague and his mum. We were chatting along casually and this familiar question popped out again from the five-year-old boy: “Can a pilot wear spectacles, uncle?” I replied with my standard answer, “yes, Brian. There is a certain limitation on the degree of shortsightedness before you are allowed to join the airline. Uncle’s degree of shortsightedness is below those limits. However, I am required to wear spectacles whenever I fly, and drive for that matter.”

“Cool!” Came the answer.

“That doesn’t mean you can watch TV and play computer for hours without resting your eyes, Brian.” The mum said firmly. “I just don’t want him to get the wrong idea,” directed to the rest of us in the car.

Oops! I have not set a good example by wearing spectacles, have I?

Another similar occurrence took place many months back when I met up with my elder brother and his family back in my home country. My eight-year-old nephew was arguing with his mum over why he cannot wear spectacles.

“But uncle is wearing spectacles and still be able to become a pilot. Why can’t I, mum?”

I have to come up with the necessary explanation, of course. I definitely do not want those kids to take their eyes’ health lightly. But what I was most startled with was the fact that I had given them some unintended influences. I was certainly not aware of the kind and extend of influence I had on those young children who know me.

Especially now that I have a child of my own, I have to be sensitive on what could influence my child’s well-being. The words and music he hears, the behaviours of the people around him, the images that he sees are all able to create an impact on him be it positive or negative.

For children seeking role models, the things that the adults do can be easily become their benchmarks. No wonder most of the children who wear spectacles have parents who are wearing spectacles too. To them, wearing spectacles is okay. I know I will have a tough time convincing Caden wearing spectacles is NOT cool when the time comes.

Daddy is just a negative example, okay? Could you please do not emulate?

Smart Multi-billionaire

2006-09-26T17:46:00.000+08:00

“Ah Loy, come here.” My father called and signaled me to sit on his lap.

“Pa.” I obeyed, always. Pa didn’t do that often. He was a man with few words. That was his most affectionate way of showing his concern to me.

“Smart millionaire, are you a good boy today?” touching my head gently. I nodded. Then he would let me go and said, “Go and play.”

That was the most impressionable communication style of my father that I could remember. He was a great fan of 4-D. He dreamt of making it big through betting on lottery. He won’t miss a single chance of betting on his car plate number and of course, car plate numbers that were involved in accidents.

Millionaire was a big thing twenty years back. When we mentioned rich people, we thought of millionaires. That was why my father wished me to be a millionaire. He didn’t really teach me how to be one, except to encourage me to do well in school.

I did reasonably okay. I am where I am today. I am not a millionaire yet. But I am working hard towards it. It takes lots of hard work, not just in terms of labour skills, also in terms of changing mindset, attitudes and behaviours in life.

Then I realized millionaire is nothing these days. Billionaire is the benchmark now. Check out the following links for more information:

http://www.forbes.com/400richest/

http://www.forbes.com/billionaires/

My father had passed on fifteen years ago. He had given me a wonderful opportunity to come to this world to realise my dream. And so I am doing to my son what my father did to me. I wish my boy, Caden, could become a Smart Multi-billionaire one day!. Twenty years from now, the benchmark might have gone up to trillion!

In order to help him achieve that, I have to keep upgrading myself, so that I can impart whatever I know to him. For things that are beyond my ability, I will try my best to get him the opportunity to go and explore.

A League of Its Own

2006-09-12T14:54:00.000+08:00

The blue circle on the left can hardly intersect with the red circle on the right.

We went for a house-warming party recently. We caught up with friends from our university hostel days.

Most are married with kids,
some are attached and still pondering whether it is a good idea to get married,
some are married and still pondering whether it is a good idea to have kids,
some want to stay single by choice,
some are still single, forever ready to find the Mr/Mrs Right to get attached.

Now that I belong to the ‘Married with kids’ group, I ponder upon how my single friends look at me.

I remember those days when I was still single. It was really hard to meet up with friends or colleagues who were already married with kids. They always give reasons such as having to fetch their kids to music classes, swimming lessons and so on. Gone were the days when you can sit down with them bitching about work and girls over long session of beer or coffee. And after a few attempts of futile invitation, you just prefer to meet up with other single friends. As the days go by, there are fewer and fewer single friends to hang out with.

Okay, let’s just say that our married-with-kids friends refused to be tied down with the task of looking after the kids. So he tries very hard to leave his wife and kids at home to hang out with you. Soon after a few rounds of drinks, unless he is truly not interested in building any relationship with his kids, his consciousness and guilt will take its toll on him to make him scurry back to his home before the fun is over.

Honestly, now that I have become a married-with-kid friend, my focus is really in building great relationship with my boy. That means spending time nurturing him, starting from basic toilet training to instilling good behaviours. Until my boy is independent, my own enjoyment would have to take second priority.

My wife and I love to watch musicals. When we wanted to watch ‘Forbidden City: Portrait of an Empress’ and invited our other friends to go along, to our surprise, they have already bought their tickets without us! Why? Oh, we thought that you are still in confinement. You have to take care of your baby. Most likely, you won’t have time to go with us.

Yes, they belong to the blue and green circle above, alright.

What? Can't bathe for 1 month?

2006-08-22T14:19:00.000+08:00

Picture contributed by Ms teo. http://www.jesuslovesmeyesiknow.blogspot.com/

Caden’s arrival has brought us lots of joy. The most joyous people are none other than his grandparents. To us, the joy of meeting our son was soon superseded by frustrations of having to wake up late at night to change his diapers and feeding.

My heart aches when I see my tired wife, still recovering from a Cesarean operation, struggling with breast-feeding and post-natal blues. Oh yes, it’s all the husband’s fault. Anything that husband can help? Very little.

Changing nappies? Yes, I can.
Preparing instant formula? Yes, I can.
Carrying Caden? Yes, yes. Right hand out to support his neck first, then lift his buttock with my left hand and ta da da … he is in my arms.
Bathing Caden? Err… I can try not to break his bones. How much hot water to be added ah?
Breast-feeding? Aren’t you asking the obvious? No doubt, Caden turns his head towards my nipple when he feels hungry in my arms. But sorry, not the right one, Caden. The left one also cannot.

Oh yes, we are so lucky to have my wife’s mum to help us with the confinement. According to Chinese tradition (more like her tradition, I think. :-p), my wife is

Not suppose to bathe for 1 month!
Not suppose to go out visiting!
Not suppose to eat food that is considered ‘cooling’,
Suppose to eat lots of ginger … and sweat the ‘wind in the body’ away…

Oh my dear mum-in-law, eating food garnished with ginger for one or two days is alright, but for 1 month? And if my wife is not supposed to bathe for 1 month, can you imagine how stinky her hair will be? And I am sharing bed with her, you know?

Sometimes, communicating with mother-in-law is more stressful than taking care of Caden. It is not just about looking after a baby. It’s about how you ‘should be’ looking after the baby as detailed out by our overly friendly third-uncle, fourth-untie, second-brother, first sister and not-so-distant neighbours.

However, Caden’s smile will magically ward off all our stress and frustration. As if we are under some sort of spell, forgetting and forgiving those who may have unintentionally offended us with their remarks. We all have only one and good intention: to take care of Caden the best we can.

More of Caden

2006-08-12T14:11:00.000+08:00

Bewarned: This posting shows lots of Caden's pictures. If you are a parent yourself, there will be an 'inner voice' in your head telling you to compare Caden with your own child. Who is cuter? Who is fairer? Who is taller? Who is chubbier? Caden might make you jealous. Caden will make you want to cuddle him.

Caden's Arrival

2006-08-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

He came crying, as if he was telling us he had been through a lot before he arrived. His head was slightly elongated as a result of the process.

Bushy hair, triangular-shaped lips, tiny hands and legs. He looks like many other babies actually, as I had found out in the nursery where he cried together with many other baby friends. But to us, he looks cute and handsome no matter what. He is our boy, Chan Caden.

Oh yes, if you are a 4D fan and hope that Caden will bring you good luck, he is born on the 2nd of August, so buy 0208. His weight is 3.6kg, so buy 3600. His length is 53cm and head circumference is 36cm, so buy 5336. He stayed with his mother in room number 3161 in hospital. My car number plate is SGF863F, so buy 0863. Pick your choice. Sure strike one!

P/S: It is such a coincident that 3 and 6 appears so many times in front of us.

What determines the birthday of my baby?

2006-07-28T13:17:00.000+08:00

Going by our gynecologist’s medical calculation, our baby Caden is due to be born on the 4th of August. And she said the baby can arrive as early as two weeks before the calculated due date. Reason being a full term pregnancy takes 40 weeks. It starts when the mother last menstruated. But the baby can only be conceived roughly two weeks after menstruation.

Anyway, both my wife and I have taken leave from work in anticipation of Caden’s arrival. However, it’s just one more week to the due date and Caden seems to be a little reluctant to come out to see the world. And we are getting anxious by the minute. We have been talking and singing to him and practicing whatever we knew about Neuro-linguistic Programming. Sometimes he gave us a kick as if to tell us to wait some more. Sometimes he didn’t.

Then we thought about induced-birth. Then we thought about how a person’s birthday affects one’s destiny. See, according to Chinese geomancy practices, a person’s birthday and time will give that person a birth code number (生辰八字). This code number is used extensively in fortune-telling and baby names-giving as well. It probably has no scientific evidence. But to people who believe in astronomy and feng shui, this code number is a big thing.

So what actually determines the birthday of a baby? Medical science will explain that the baby will be born when the baby’s body is fully developed. The mother’s body senses that the baby is ready and her body releases some relevant hormones for contraction to take place. If the baby is still not born by the end of 40 weeks, or ultra-sound scan shows that the environment in the womb has already deteriorated, an induced-birth has to be performed.

Of course, in some cases, the water bag burst early and the baby is born prematurely. Or in the case of a ‘breech’ where the baby’s buttocks, knees or feet will appear first during delivery, both mother and baby might have difficulty breathing as the baby grows larger. In this case, Cesarean section may have to be done.

Maybe a more appropriate question to ask is: Who actually determines the birthday of a baby? Is it God? Is it Karma? Or, in the case of induced-birth, the doctor or the parents?

If we decided to induce the birth of Caden, his birthday is obviously chosen by us. Does that mean we write his birth code number and hence his destiny as well?

Why Babies?

2006-06-24T15:36:00.000+08:00

My wife is eight months pregnant with our baby boy now. Till now, we are still grappling with the question of why do we want to have a baby.

Based on my limited understanding of the meaning of life, I told my wife we should give our baby a chance to enjoy life like what we have been given by our parents. Life, be it happy or sad, smooth sailing or filled with obstacles, is always a wonderful experience.

Then there is this secretive selfish reason of mine, which is too shameful for me to admit: To prove that I am capable of becoming a father. Yes, it’s a male ego problem, to prove that my organ works.

As MY baby grows bigger and gives my dear wife much physical pain, this guilt of not being able to do much grows larger too. Yes, it’s my entire fault dear. I know your back hurts. You have stretch marks on your belly. It’s ugly to wear bikini in future. You have difficulties sleeping at night. Our baby son seems to know that it’s world cup season and he starts to kick whenever he hears soccer fans cheering on TV.

But I have my pain too. I have to come up with the money to cater for OUR baby’s need: Hospitalization bill, delivery bill, baby’s bed, clothing, pram, education for the next twenty years at least, etc. etc. Is that heartache or what?

Okay, okay. I promise I will spend time taking care of our boy whenever I am not on flying duties, okay?

If you look at ‘the big picture’, we have limited resources in this world. Adding another number to the world’s population will only aggravate the over population problem. On the other hand, having more babies will help solving some of the economic problems we have in this graying population. That’s how this ‘baby bonus’ in taxation comes about. No, nope, we are not having a baby because we want our kid to take care of us when we are old. Although if he can buy me a condominium with a big swimming pool or that dream car of mine, a BMW 7 series, will be nice. (See? Being selfish again.)

Famous author Deepak Chopra said “Kid, you are here for a reason.” (Reference: The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success for Parents by Deepak Chopra) Famous Daddy to my kid says, “Son, please don’t ask daddy what is the reason. Coz daddy doesn’t know the reason too!”

(Thanks to all my friends who have contributed their babies' photos to this blog! Cute, aren't they?)

Blogging is like Kara-oke-ing

2006-06-13T17:48:00.000+08:00

Kara-oke-ing

I chose my favourite song. I sang with gusto and emotions. I thought my audience would like it. They chose to be there anyway.

I finished singing. The audience clapped. Some shouted, “Encore! Encore!” The majority kept quiet. They kept looking at the TV screen wondering whether the next music video would show a lady in even less clothing than the previous one.

Blogging

I chose my topic that I thought would interest my blog fans. I wrote with such passion that I blurted out laughing and rubbing my palms out of excitement. I published my latest blog.

Then my readers read it. Either they have come across my blog by invitation or by chance, they chose to start reading. Some gave up without finishing. Some finished reading. Some related to the article so well that they left some comments on the blog. The majority kept quiet.

Who is this guy who always think that his singing/opinion is important? Who cares about what he feels/thinks anyway? Why is he keep committing this act of self-fulfilling prophecy? You mean he is so stressed that he got no other way to vent his emotions?

Honestly, I don’t find his singing/blog interesting at all. It’s such a pain to listen to him. Should I tell him? But I don’t want to be the bad guy. You know what I mean? Maybe I should just leave. Let him pay for my drinks. Let him ‘shiok sendiri’ (Malay term for gratifying ownself).

Click…

The last time I stopped to look at the grass at the roadside...

2006-05-16T10:56:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you stopped to look at the grass at the road side?

To get away from the hustle and bustle of city, from work and social pressure...

To completely let go of yourself, no ego, no dignity, no constraints... nothingness...

To feel the earth move under you,

To smell the grass in your breath,

To observe nature in great detail...

And realise how small you are in this universe...

Nothing else matters...

(Pictures taken using phone camera at King's Park, Perth, Western Australia)

JadeD

2006-04-19T12:17:00.000+08:00

My wife (in case you are wondering, she is not a stewardess or ex-stewardess) and I met up with our old school friends for a buffet dinner in a hotel the other day. Besides catching up on old times, all of us admitted one cruel fact: we couldn't eat as much as we would have eaten like when were younger anymore! How sad, it was an all-you-can-eat buffet! The food was really good, by the way.

And our conversation topics couldn't run away from those ‘good old times’ back in the hostel. Suggestions on traveling plans were quickly met with budget and annual leave constraints, kids and whatever obstacles that we could conjure up.

A friend suggested a new business idea. He was quickly met with those 'been there, done that' remarks or similar sentiments.

Assumptions that all our friends are probably leading the same life and having the same difficulties as us rendered superficial concerns for other people’s lives meaningless. And we are too tired to go into the details.

Are there no new discoveries? No new interest anymore?

“Symptoms of mid-life crisis,” a friend suggested. But we are only in our early thirties! “Yes, if we are going to live until sixty,” he said, not without a tinge of pessimism.

There is hardly anything that interests us anymore. Agreed. Our metabolic rate has slowed down. Agreed. We don’t eat as much anymore. Agreed. We are not so adventurous to try out new things like we were younger. Agreed. Newspapers reports hardly catch our attention. Agreed. TV commercials are all trying to sell things. Agreed. We are too bogged down with work, housing loans, car loans and office politics. Agreed!

Will simple and stable life give us excitement and happiness? I wonder. That was the aim for many of us, isn’t it? If everything is within our game plan and control, there is hardly any surprise. Will life still be interesting?

Perhaps we have lost our child-like curiosity. Perhaps we have stopped asking trivial questions. Perhaps we are too molded to conform. We can’t think out of the box anymore. We are too afraid to step out of our comfort zone.

We entered school with question marks in our head. We graduated with full stops.

How much Risk can you stomach?

2006-03-17T23:51:00.000+08:00

Risk is an abstract concept. Very often, it is perceived risk rather than actual risk. We can take on a lot more risk doing something that we are more familiar with. For example, we think that driving a car is less risky than venturing into businesses. If we know the percentage of casualties caused by car accidents, we may think otherwise. When taking flights were reserved to the privileged few many years ago, people think that sitting in an airplane flying from one place to the other was more risky than taking ground transport. Newspapers often have air crash stories on the first page. After people realized that air crash casualties are far less than ground transport accident casualties statistically, taking flights are not that risky after all.

Our perceived risk is very much influenced by dramatization and herd instinct. We can identify with victims easily. Human being like to cry victim simply because it gives them pleasure to do so. It gives them attention from other people. And so when someone said that he was victim of a business venture, you would most likely paid him your attention and declared that venturing into business is risky. This is particularly so if that someone is close to you.

I have a colleague who is still undergoing flying training to become a First Officer told me that he had a tough time convincing his mum to let him join the pilot’s profession simply because his mum’s brother died piloting an airforce fighter a few years ago. To his mum, her perceived risk of piloting an airplane is much more compared to the rest of us who have not suffered from an airplane accident either directly or indirectly before.

We also tend to conform with the people around us in terms of the amount of risk that is acceptable to us. If three out of your four friends told you that taking part in a bungee jump will sprain your neck, you would most likely not taking part in that sport. Would you bother to find out what is the percentage of people who sprain their necks taking part in a bungee jump? When three out of your four neighbors bought fire insurance to protect their houses, you would probably be thinking hard about getting one too.

We do hear news of roller-coaster accidents that resulted in death. The next time you are in a theme park queuing for a roller-coaster ride, you probably won’t think of those news because right in front of you, there are lots of people who have taken the ride and come out unscathed.

Risk is associated with everything that we do in this world. Be it taking a flight, driving in a car, walking on a street or simply sitting at home. At any one time, accident might happen. Other traffic might hit us. The picture hanging on the wall at home might fall onto our head. Or natural disaster such as earthquake, flood or tsunami might strike. Or airplanes come crashing into the office that you are working in. (Yes, I don't have to mention that day in September.)

The same goes to every action or inaction that you decided on. In today’s world where the Internet has intensified the competition in the job market, is working for people in exchange of monthly salary not risky too? The job skills that you acquired today may go obsolete in five years time due to cost cutting and outsourcing. The way to survive is to constantly upgrade our skills and to adopt a risk diversification strategy. Acquiring both employable skills and business skills is part of the risk diversification strategy. Not only are we able to work for different companies, we are also able to venture out on our own should we need to one day. The last thing we should do is to cry victim of our employer and keep complaining about overwork, underpaid and being poor all the time!

My Friend is Starting a Business

2006-03-10T11:47:00.000+08:00

I caught up with my old school friends during Chinese New Year celebration two months back and we had a very interesting conversation about venturing into business. The major players in the conversation are Mr Dare Tudu, Mr Study Lor, Mr Cyni Cal and of course, Mr Specky Pilot.

Dare Tudu initiated, “I wish to venture into women’s jewellery and accessories business. Do you guys think it’s feasible?”

Study Lor replied, “Must do market feasibility research first lar…”

Cyni Cal added, “How much is the start up cost?”

Dare Tudu said, “Very low man. I know people buy the beads in bulk. One big bag only costs a few dollars. Especially if you buy from Korea or China.”
“But how about the import costs?” Cyni Cal interjected.

Specky Pilot spoke for the first time having just joined the conversation after grabbing a beer. “I remembered walking past a similar shop in Central Square Shopping Center yesterday.”

“Still can do lar… The market is so big. Some more the start up cost is so low. I just need someone to design and make the jewellery. Shop floor rental is not that high in this small town.”

“But how much can the profit margin be?” Cyni expressed his opinion once more.

“Hey guys, don’t you know 95% of the business start-ups close down within the first 5 years? And those 5% that succeeded has probably failed many times before.” Study Lor adjusted his spectacles.

“What 5%? I think less than that ah…”, Cyni Cal again.

“That is the problem with you all university graduates. Everything must do research. Everything must come up with a written proposal. By the time you do all that, the market is already saturated with the products you want to sell. Just do it lah, why scared?” argued Dare Tudu. He is not a university graduate, but has since opened up two internet cafes.

“Guys,” Specky tried to analyze. “Doing business involves taking risk. Most of the people like to stay in their comfort zone doing what is familiar to them. When they have decided to stay comfortable, they are not willing to take risk. No risk, no gain, as simple as that. People who succeeded are those who are willing to take risk and fail. They are the ones who don’t give up easily. They action, fail, learn from their mistakes and action again.”

“The higher your academic achievement, the more psychological barrier you will have to overcome. Because more often than not, your ego will be like this high,” signaled Study Lor with his right palm horizontal above his nose.

“That’s why there are so many motivation seminars and courses for entrepreneur these days. Because entrepreneurs need motivation everytime they fail. He he…”, laughed Cyni Cal.

“Still, people want to venture into businesses especially restaurant business. Every now and then, you see new eating joints spring up here and there. Close down, new ones open again on the same spot.” Dare Tudu sipped his Tiger Beer.

“Yeah, because people still think that venturing into businesses is one way to make it big. How to get rich being an employee all the time?” Study Lor had done his homework.

“I agree, man. Unless you are the top 1% employee of the company like CEOs, COOs or someone in that category,” Dare Tudu expressed his wisdom.

“There are also people who venture into anything that makes money: pirated DVDs, imitated branded goods and so on. There was this friend of mine who came to me the other day saying that he managed to get a batch of mobile phones from China at a very low price. He asked me whether I am interested in joining him in distributing the phones. When I probed further, the phones didn’t come through a proper channel. Those one-time high profit margin businesses are not for me. I go for the long term.”

“Dare,” Specky looked at Dare Tudu in the eyes and said, “please don’t let us stop you in taking risks. It is common that friends will always discourage you from doing things that are different from what they are doing. At the back of our mind, we will always like to stand and watch. If you succeed, we will love to join you. If you fail, we will take comfort that we didn’t take the plunge together with you. Some might even say, “we warned you beforehand, didn’t we?””

“Everyone wants success, but not everyone wants to sacrifice,” Study said coldly.

“Aiyah! NATO. No Action one, Talk Only lar!” Cyni Cal being his usual self.

Is there a need to have a plan?

2006-02-23T18:56:00.000+08:00

It was a typical off day in year 2002. I just came back from a five-day operating pattern to Manchester, UK the day before. As scheduled, I had three off days in a row to get rid of the jetlag before the next flight.

I woke up around ten in the morning. After brushing up, having breakfast and reading newspapers, I was at a loss of what to do next. I thought of continuing reading the many self-help books on various topics that I have started reading but never got the chance to finish. Then I thought I would do that after checking my emails. So I switched on my computer. While reading through the emails, I was distracted by one of the junk mails. (Yes, I received many offers on penis enlargement too. Of course I deleted all of them. You mean you actually read them?) It directed me to a website that offers a brilliant business opportunity. It prompted me to discover further. And I ended up surfing a long string of websites ranging from desktop publishing, website hosting, graphics animation to blogs and online magazine.

When my stomach started grueling, I was in the midst of reading some gossip news about Jennifer Lopez. So I called a good friend of mine for lunch. He happened to be my colleague also and he said that a few more other colleagues were joining us as well. So we ended up having a long lunch and coffee and gossiping session. (What do pilots usually gossip about? Next post.) If not for the fact that two of my colleagues had to go to fetch their wife from work, we could have continued to have dinner and beer!

After dinner, the night was spent watching TV and surfing on the internet. Before I knew it, it was time for bed and I had hardly achieved anything! When I was lying on bed and trying to figure out what I had done today and what to do tomorrow, my mind just went blank. Had I worked out my detailed plan last night and had the discipline to carry out the plan today, I would have felt much more happy and satisfied.

Do you have similar experiences? A lot of my cabin crew colleagues often ended up buying a lot of other things that were not needed when they went shopping in Xiang Yang Market in Shanghai. Xiang Yang Market has a lot of imitation branded goods that are going for rock bottom prices compared to the originals. And if you are not disciplined enough to stick to your initial shopping list (if you have one i.e.), you are most likely ended up buying lots of rubbish. Same situation occurs in a 100 Yen Shop in Japan where all the merchandise in the shop is selling at 100 yen before tax.

Some of us might argue that we should take life easy. We are already working so hard trying to meet datelines and various targets. Why can’t we just spend an off day without having any plan? Well, the decision of not having any plan is also a plan itself. The point here is we have to put in some conscious effort to think about what to do. Should we decide not to do anything, that itself is also a course of action.

But very often, we either implement our own plan or fit into others’ plan. Like what had happened to me as described above, since I didn’t have a plan, I ended up following what the web providers wanted me to do: read their webpage to facilitate their business. If I had worked out a plan to limit myself on the internet usage, I would have more time to read my self-help books and achieve much more for the day. If I don't have a shopping list, I will end up following what the shop-keepers wanted me to do: buy things from all of them! Well at least, buying more than necessary.

Taking it further towards life, if I don’t have a plan for my life, I’ll be like a horse controlled by my rider, going where he wants me to go. Imagine yourself living through each day without directions, will you be able to achieve anything significant? Fifty years down the road, will you be able to produce a happy answer when someone asks you “What is your biggest achievement in life?”

“Oh, nothing much really, I just live through each day without giving much thought to what I really wanted out of my life.” Surely you can come out with a happier answer than that!

Having a plan for myself gives me control over my time, my space and my life.

Must I retire at 60?

2006-01-07T17:30:00.000+08:00

Due to my family background and social upbringing, I always had this idea that people retire at the age of 55. After retirement, they will either relax at home doing gardening or playing with grandchildren or go traveling around the world.

That was the idea I had about retirement even after I met my first insurance agent. The only difference after talking to my insurance agents was that the retirement age had been postponed to 60. That is the official retirement age for most of the companies including governmental organizations today. And yes, you bet, I can fly till the age of 60, provided I clear my medical checks every 6 months.

However, as I gain more exposure through reading and meeting people from various backgrounds, I start to rethink the definition of retirement. Does retirement always occur after a certain age? Or does it occur after certain criteria are met? Please correct me if I am wrong, most retirees are people who have the following characteristics:

- Freedom of time to do whatever they like including continuing with their old hobbies or picking up new ones
- Financial freedom, i.e. all of their financial commitments such as medical care and living expenses have been taken care of, and
- If they work, it is usually just to past time and not for the money

If you examine closely, the above characteristics can be acquired by anyone at any age. A person who is born with a silver spoon in his/her mouth can practically retire since day one. (Alternatively, you can marry a rich husband/wife and reach an agreement that he/she works while you enjoy life. :-) ) Unfortunately, I am not one of them. Like the majority of us, I still have to work for my retirement.

The next question will be: Do most of the people manage to assume the above-mentioned characteristics by the age of 60 – the official retirement age? Some do, some don’t. Those who plan early do. Those who didn’t plan don’t. Why? Because when you don't plan, you are likely to fall into the trap of financial debt. Banks and credit card companies will not hesitate to grant you loans to buy new and bigger houses, cars, club memberships and so on. Before you knew it, you are trapped in the rat race of working for money to pay off your debt. Sounds familiar?

In order to achieve financial freedom, you don’t have to become a millionaire. If your daily expenses after retirement is small, you do not need a huge amount of reserves to last you till the end of days. If you fancy living in a big bungalow, driving big cars and dining in expensive restaurants after retirement, you probably have to work triply hard to save up your financial nest eggs. Obviously, it is up to each individual to set the targets.

But whatever the target is, we need to work on either increase the source of income and/or resizing the target or both. And the retirement age is just a time frame you set for yourself. Your company or the government may have some form of retirement plans in place for you. But is it enough for you to reach your target? Bearing in mind, those plans assume that you stop working at the age of 60. For my case, it’s not enough. So I have to rely on myself now. Furthermore, I have set myself a stricter time frame – by the age of 45. I sure need to work many times harder to achieve my target.

A friend asked me: Why stress yourself? Is there a need to have a target? Are you being ‘kiasu’? I will attempt to answer those questions in my next post. Watch out for it. :-)

How BIG is your dream?

2005-12-21T19:21:00.000+08:00

I came from a poor family. I didn’t know much about life except that I had to study hard and do well in school as taught to me by my parents. It was ingrained in me that the only way to get a better quality of life is through good education.

Due to poor family background also, my mother didn’t have the chance to further her studies beyond primary school. Nonetheless, she realized the importance of good education that she spent lots of effort deciding which school was best for me.

And so I just followed what was arranged for me. I seized the opportunity to do well in good schools. As I grew up, the idea of doing well in schools will fetch me a good job in the future was deeply entrenched in my mind. I also came to realize that working for an airline pays well too.

(Don’t believe me? Click on the following links:

http://www.cathaypacific.com/careers/en/choices/0,,128402,00.html

http://www.emiratesgroupcareers.com/index.asp?cid=EKGCREF_INT_NA_EKCOM_LINK_MENU_EN1

http://www.singaporeair.com/saa/en_UK/content/company_info/careers/tech_crew.jsp )

Becoming a pilot was my dream then. I didn’t think much. All I wanted to do was to prepare myself to be a pilot. I studied science and aviation related modules in schools so that I could stand a better chance of being hired. (I realized later that I didn’t need a university degree to be a pilot.) I am now where I wanted to be since young.

Was my childhood dream a BIG dream? It was, considering the fact that I took 17 years of education plus 3 years of flying training to realize the dream. So where do I go from here? I can very well be contented with what I have and live happily ever after. Or I can find another dream and work hard again to achieve that dream. And I have concluded the latter gives me more satisfaction and meaning to life.

Through talking to people and reading, I have come across a lot of people with much bigger dreams than mine. I have met a German boss who owns and flies his own private jet to attend meetings. He is also able to fly a helicopter carrying friends up to a mountain resort for lunch, prepared for them by his private chef. I have been flying 'other people’s aircrafts'. Will I be able to fly one of my own one day?

I have also come across retirees who are in their late forties whose dreams are to build a second business to leave a legacy. There is also a lady whom I met whose dream is to build an income source for an orphanage. Just two days ago, a featured article in the newspapers highlighting the boom in private banking sector catering to ultra-high networth individuals’ philanthropic needs. Can I be one of these ultra-high networth individuals?

After much soul searching, I have raised the bar higher just like taking part in high jump in the Olympics. I have decided that I should aim to retire early, as early as the age of 45. (Retire doesn't mean stop working. Confused? Read my next post.) I am not going reveal to you how much time I have to work on achieving that goal. Because by doing that you would have guessed my age – something that I like to keep secret at this moment. ;-)

How big is your dream, my dear friends? Or you do not see the need to dream? Whatever you decide, we are here today because of what we did in the past. And our future is decided by what we do today. Leave your comments or email me at speckypilot@hotmail.com

In the next post, I will tell you what is the plan put in place to achieve my newfound dream. So watch out for it. ;-)

Childhood dream is fulfilled, what’s next?

2005-12-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

The word ‘dream’ seems something far and unreachable. I think a more appropriate word will be ‘goal’. A goal set by a child is often called ‘a dream’. A goal set by an adult is still called ‘a goal’. How fascinating?

Perhaps after realizing what it takes to fulfill a dream, the grown-ups have stopped dreaming? My dear readers, is it costly to realize a dream? Costly not just in terms of money, but time and effort as well? Have you stopped dreaming?

I have read somewhere that there are 5 types of dreamers:

Type 1: Dreamers whose dreams are in the past
These people are those who have excelled in the past. For example, a gold-medalist athlete in his/her secondary school. And they have not achieved much since.

Type 2: Dreamers who dream only small dreams
These are the people who keep saying “I must write a blog one day when I am free.” But they never get down to doing it. Because their dreams are easily achievable, so they always think that they can do it anytime. With small dreams, comes small commitment.

Type 3: Dreamers who achieved their dreams and have not found their new dreams
These are people who have achieved their childhood dreams. Many professionals such as doctors, lawyers and pilots fall into this category. And they are still living in their euphoria of achieving that dream. Some are truly comfortable with what they have done and see no need to step out of their comfort zone until the end of days.

Type 4: Dreamers who have big dreams but no concrete plan to implement towards achieving their dreams
These are the people who are still in search of the right method or vehicle to take action. And like Type 2 dreamers, they will not achieve much unless they truly commit themselves towards realizing their dreams.

Type 5: Dreamers who dream big dreams, have achieved those dreams and continue to dream bigger dreams
This category of dreamers will be the most positive and forward-looking individuals on earth.

I used to be a Type 3 dreamer. A lot of my childhood friends congratulated me for having achieved my childhood dream. I had put up my hand many years ago during a primary school lesson when the teacher asked who wanted to be a pilot when we grew up.

And I had been living extremely comfortably after I had become a full fledge operating flying professional. Not only I had no problem in meeting my daily expenses for survival, I had some extra to spare for other purposes as well. (How much do we need to survive in a day anyway? I will write on this more in another posting.)

Then I was bored. A person who is bored can’t be truly happy, can he? Also, I found myself so afraid of losing my profession and whatever little wealth I had. I was living in fear. Buying insurance policies didn’t seem to help. I was in need of a new direction. What should it be?

Then I decided to be a Type 5 dreamer. I have since made a bigger dream. (How big is this dream? Read my next posting.) Having a dream/goal to pursue gives me a sense of purpose in life. Of course, I am fully aware of the risk that I have to take to dream bigger dreams. I also have doubts of not being able to achieve those dreams. What if I fail? Can I afford to fail?

If I say no, I am back to square one - living in fear. I can never be happy that way. So yes, I can afford to take some calculated risks. I can loose all the extra I have in pursue of happiness. (How much extra is extra? Another posting.) Will I still be happy if I loose all that I have? That requires me to step out of my comfort zone. That involves changing of values and mindset, my friend. It’s not easy. But taking the path with the most resistance seems to offer greater meaning to my life. So I have embarked on changing my values for the better. Try reaching the moon, even if you fail, you’ll end up with some stars!

paSSion for flying

2005-11-28T15:26:00.000+08:00

“So flying is your childhood dream. You must be really passionate about flying then?” asked one of my friends over a coffee table.

I don’t know what is passion. I only know that I feel really HIGH after executing a good landing and conversely, extremely LOUSY after a rough one.

“If you are not paid or paid as much as what you are getting now to do the job, will you still fly?”

I was speechless. It was like an exclusively interview with a talk-show host on TV. The whole world was waiting for my answer.

Well, it’s the whole package that I am after, I guess. Besides handling the high-tech flying machine, I also look forward to immerse myself in many different layover stations in various countries and cultures. I always feel so lucky and fortunate to be able to go for authentic food in its countries of origin. I can go for Beijing Duck in Beijing today, fly to Singapore for Singapore Laksa tomorrow and two days later, Palak Paneer (Indian cottage cheese) in New Delhi. And many many more, Lamb shank in Christchurch, Sushi in Osaka, Fish and Chips in Perth, Serloin Steak in Johannesburg, etc etc.

“But you are not answering the question, Specky Pilot. Let me rephrase the question. If you already have a billion dollar in your bank account today, will you still be flying?”

Yes, I will still be flying. But not sitting in the cockpit man. I would rather sitting in the First Class sipping champagne, enjoying the in-flight entertainment having the freedom to do what I want anytime I want.

“But what happened to that childhood dream of yours? That picture of you walking across the departure hall flanked by stewardesses drawing the attention of everyone?”

Yes, it does feel good being in that picture now. But that picture itself doesn’t help in motivating me to wake up at 4 in the morning to prepare for work.

Hey, common, I still need money to survive. Can glamour and passion pay the bills? No. But it does make my working life more interesting.

Flying is my childhood dream

2005-11-19T12:12:00.000+08:00

This is how it started:

"Attention boys and girls! What do you want to become when you grow up? Write down three choices on this form here." I can still remember the high-pitch voice of my primary school teacher, Ms Chen.

And so I spent the rest of that afternoon lying on the floor looking at the sky wondering what to fill in the form.

Doctor? No. I will not want to face germs and viruses everyday.

Policeman? Emmm... Not a bad choice. I can hold guns and go after bad people. :-)

Lawyer? No. I don't know much about law. :-(

Accountant? No. I don't know much about calculating money. :-<

Engineer? Bus driver? Businessman? :-< :-< :-<

Hey, I don't know much about anything!

And as though it was a sign from above, an aeroplane flew across the great blue sky. (Many years ago, the sky was not as hazy as what we see today.)

Oh yeah! Why not become a pilot? Can earn big bucks, can see the world. The picture of me in pilot's uniform flanked by many many stewardesses walking across the departure hall drawing attention from everyone around us appeared on my mind. Phuoa! How wonderful. Ok, set!

And so the rest is history. I have set my mind to become a pilot. When an opportunity came along for me to enrol myself in a flying school, I grabbed it without much thought. I have also chosen to study aviation-related subjects in university. By then, I have realised that being a pilot is like being a computer user, the job is not as majestic as a computer manufacturer. I have ever thought of becoming an aircraft engineer instead. But I could not let go the dream that I had since young.

I joined an airline right after my graduation from university. The flying training that I received from the airline flying college was not without struggle. Obstacles and difficulties had further strengthened my character. Flying college was where I met many of my future colleagues. They told me they said the same thing during their job interview:

"Flying is my childhood dream!"

Intro

2005-11-17T08:15:00.000+08:00

So you are a pilot. Can a pilot wear spectacles? That's the question I often get when I tell people what I do.

Yes, you don’t have to have 100% perfect eyesight to become a pilot anymore. Yes, as long as your eyesight can be corrected to perfect vision, i.e. 6/6 vision, and you meet the minimum visual acuity required without visual aid, you have a chance of joining the flying profession.

I was quite happy to answer that question to friends whom I met for the first time. Then there is this friend of mine who kept asking me the same question every time we meet. He is a medical professional by the way. It is either he never listens to me or there is too many things for him to remember in his daily practice.

I live on an island where more than two third of the student population wears spectacles or contact lenses. The reasons why this phenomenon happens make a good research topic for a university thesis. There are simply not enough people here who do not wear spectacles to join the flying profession. By the way, why must a pilot have perfect eyesight? I have not figured out the answer either.

When I first introduce myself, I will say ‘I am flying for an airline’ so as not to sound too cocky, you know what I mean? Can you imagine I walk up to a lady, stretch out my hand and say, ‘Hi, I am a Pilot.’?

Looking at my spectacles, the next question usually is, ‘Oh, so you are a cabin crew?’

‘No, err, I am a First Officer.’

‘Officer? Ground staff or customers service officer?’

At this point, I am usually quite irritated already. And so I will not care whether I will be construed as cocky or not anymore. I will say, ‘Hi, I am Pilot.’

And you know what? ‘Pilot’ will be my name that they will remember for the next few times and many times thereafter that we meet, regardless of what my actual name is. Pilot, WILL BE my name when they introduce me to their friends. Or at least, my profession will be mentioned anyhow during the conversation. And our conversation will not go far from airplanes, airports, airline destinations and everything related to aviation industry.

I am not sure whether having a pilot friend actually gives you pride and pleasure, it somehow happens that way. It’s not that I don’t like the attention. In fact I love every bit of it. Who won’t? But that comes with a price. If I don’t make a conscious effort to steer away from those topics, I will end up an egoistic snob who knows very little of his new friends.

So if you are a friend of mine, please just accept me for whom I am. Please understand that my actual name (and thus my actual person) is in constant struggle with my profession (and your perceived pilot’s image) for your attention.

Watch out for my next posting in which I will tell you more about my actual person versus the stereotypical pilot’s image.

2005-11-16T18:23:00.000+08:00

Specky Pilot